Saturday, May 31, 2008

Friday, heavy 2 hand swing ladder

Once again, late yoga class, stopped to eat.....forced my workout at 10:30am, but unlike the other day I felt some direction and I have a new training plan for the next 4 weeks that I'm pretty excited about.

It started with Wednesdays workout, even though I didn't want to train, I had made up my mind that I was going to focus on working with the 16kg, and touching the 12kg as little as possible. More on this training strategy later....

I walked into Girya on Thursday to train an afternoon client and Jordan was there, in the middle of his own workout, doing heavy 2 hand swings, with his Gymboss beeping every 15 sec.....I had already been thinking the same, knowing that my Friday workout was going to be a heavy 2 hand swing ladder, every 15 sec.. Here's what I did,

No warm up, I set my Gymboss for 15 sec intervals and started swinging!

Work Sets / 2 hand swings

16kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest
20kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest
24kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest

I completed this uphill ladder 10x (60/15 sec. intervals) = 15 min., and then realized that it was too boring and a little too easy to continue for the entire workout, so I increased the first part of the ladder w/16kg to 30 sec work, keeping a 15 sec rest,

16kg, 20 reps, 30 sec work, 15 sec rest
20kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest
24kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest


I completed this uphill ladder 10x (70/15 sec. intervals) = 17.5 min. Adding in an extra 10 reps w/16kg, but keeping the rest period the same 15 sec.. Making the the first set longer, but not too long, I knew I could still increase the intensity,

16kg, 40 reps, 1 min. work, 15 sec rest
20kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest
24kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest

I completed this uphill ladder only 5x (45/15 sec. intervals) = 11.25 min. That 1 min. long set w/ 16kg with only 15 sec. rest before going on to the 2 heavier sets, kicked my ass! At his point in the workout I looked at the Gymboss and saw I had 25 remaining 15 sec. intervals to round out my workout to 200 15 sec. interval = 50 min., so I went back to the first uphill ladder of 15 sec. work, 15 sec rest for the remaining 25 intervals, 6.25 min.

16kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest
20kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest
24kg, 10 reps, 15 sec work, 15 sec rest


Total workout 50 minutes

Thank God for my Gymboss, there would of been no way to keep track of these combinations of timed sets without it. Keeping it set for 15 second intervals I just kept swinging through 2 "beeps" for the second work sets, and for the third I just kept swinging through 4 "beeps".

Can you tell I'm diggin' my Gymboss lately, lol?

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

60 Bleepin' Minutes!

That's 'kind of' what I said, as I walked in the back door after my workout today. Today is the closest I've ever come to skipping my workout, but I forced myself in the gym. I reminded myself that there will be plenty of times I'll have to skip routine workouts because of other obligations, so when there's no legitimate reason then it's just too bad for me! No option, especially when laziness, procrastination, or "I just don't feel good" is the only excuse.

I didn't get to yoga until the 9:15 class this morning and even though I had some oats early I was hungry so I went home and ate, thinking I would just workout with Mark at 1:oopm. Well, as I finished off my 3rd bowl of Cheerios (actually "Trader O's"), that was after a salad and chicken, I took a nap for an hour (while Mark did his workout), got up and cleaned the house, all the while not listening to every excuse I tried to come up with to talk myself out of my own workout.

I didn't want to train, but it was 4:00pm and I had to practice some of what I preach. Show up and do the reps. "Do the reps, do the reps, do the reps.", is what I kept repeating to myself. I can't believe I squeaked out 60 bleepin' minutes.

Warm up

40 2 hand swings w/12kg, 1 min work, 1 min rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

Work sets

12 2 hand swings w/16kg, 15 sec rest, 8 snatch Rw/12kg, 15 sec rest,
12 2 hand swings w/16kg, 15 sec rest, 8 snatch L w/12kg, 15 sec rest,
12 2 hand swings w/16kg, 15 sec rest, 6 snatch R w/16kg, 15 sec rest,
12 2 hand swings w/16kg, 15 sec rest, 6 snatch L, w/16kg, 15 sec rest

All work sets were 15 sec also. So these were max V02 based timed sets. I alternated these 4 combinations 10 x = 40 min.

40 2 hand swings w/16kg, 1 min work, 1 min rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

Total time 60 min.
160 snatches w/12kg = 160 points
120 snatches w/16kg = 240 points
880 swings

I wasn't planning on any kind of video so there is no talking....I barely had the drive or energy to do the stinkin' workout, lol! It's a portion of the workout alternating 2 hand swings with 16kg snatches.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Mondays workout w/12kg

I wasn't really "feeling" it so I went for time and reps. One long five minute set repeated 8 times after one warmup set of 40, 2 hand swings.

Work set

40 transfers,
8 R/8 L, clean, push press
40 transfers,
12 R/12 L, snatches
40 transfers

5 min. work, 1 min rest, x 8 sets = 48 min

Total workout 50 min., 1000 swings,128 cl/pr, 192 snatches

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Saturday Morning Swings

I didn't have alot of time before 8am Bikram, and I don't like to do a full KB workout before yoga anyway, so here's what I came up with for a 30 minute workout.

Set #1
100 rep combination w/14kg (30lbs), 2.5 min. work, 1 min. rest

20 2 hand swings
20 transfers,
10, 1 swing/transfer (20 reps)
20 transfers
20 2 hand swings

Set # 2 1 minute work, 1 min. rest

40 2 hand swings w/16kg, 20kg, 24kg, 20kg, 16kg

I started with set #1, and ended with set #1, alternating set #2 laddering up then down in weight. (Six #1 sets, five #2 sets)

Total workout 30 min./ 800 swings

I loved how the timing ended up exactly @ 30 min. I think I'll use this same work/rest ratio for another, longer workout.

Swings are good.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Double kb combos




Warm up

5 sets, 1 min on 1 min rest swings w/12kg = 10 min

Work sets

20 double swing, 8 double clean press, 8 double snatch/neg press, 20 double swings w two 8kgs, 2 min. work, 30 sec rest

8 double clean press w/12kgs, 30 sec work, 30 sec rest

20 double swings w/12kgs, 30 sec work, 30 sec rest

All three combos took 4 1/2 min. to complete x 8 rotations = 36 min

10/10/10/10 bottoms up cleans w/12kg, 2 min work, 1 min rest x 3 sets = 9 min.

Total workout 55 minutes

Tracy's All Day Food 5/21

Add in a "Butterfinger candy bar binge" at the end of the day and this is pretty much what I prepared on Wednesday. I'll be writing about that on Food and Thought.....

Menu

beef, barley, and veg soup with spinach
broccoli and carrot salad with tahini dressing and sesame seeds
dried apricots w/almond butter and almond
cabbage salad w/chicken and curry dressing

Of course my morning coffee w/cream, but I was fighting a small sugar craving that I let turn into a big sugar craving..... What was I really craving? Looking back at yesterday, I didn't pack enough food, and because I was at work all day, and overbooked, and stressed, I allowed that first compulsive bite...... I was able to stop before it went from bad to worse, to crazy! Oh, crazy came first...sorry, lol!

Today is a great day. I'm headed out to the gym for my KB workout, then off to work, again all day. I got 2 freakin' heads of Romaine lettuce in my CSA box, my least favorite, so I guess it's Ceasar salad w/chicken today.....no Butterfingers....I promise!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Tuesday 1200 swings, 550 snatches

I skipped Bikram yoga this morning in exchange for cleaning my house and making some killer beef, barley, & mushroom soup in my pressure cooker, (Dang, I love my pressure cooker, and big 'ole pieces of beef that fall off of big 'ole bones, lol). I've probably been averaging 6 out of 7 days a week with my Bikram practice, so it was time to reprioritize. Cleaning up around the house gave me much more 'peace of mind'.

I did 700 swings with an 9:30am KB client, then ran home to finish some sort of workout. Here's what I did,

9:30am KB "I go, you go" style swing combinations

10 x 10 reps = 100 (5 min.)
10 x 20 reps = 200 (10 min.)
10 x 40 reps = 400 (20 min)
1 x 100 reps = 100 (1 min rest, 2.5 min set)

Total time 38.5 min w/12kg. Whoops, I guess I did 800 swings! I'm such a lousy counter!

10:45 KB 100 rep swing and snatch sets w/12kg

20 2 hand swings,
20 transfers,
10 swing / transfers (20 reps),
20 transfers,
20 2 hand swings,

100 reps, 2 1/2 min. work, 1 min rest x 5 sets alternating with 5 min snatch sets w/1 min. rest.

snatches w/12kg

15/15, 10/10, 15/15, 10/10, 15/15, (130)
10/10 x 5 (100)
10/10 x 5 (100)
10/10 x 5 (100)
10/10, 15/15, 10/10, 1515, 10/ 10, (120)

I thought I might be able to keep up the first snatch combination for all 5 sets, but it was too much, expecially with only 1 min. rest between swing/snatch sets. But after doing the math I had to "round off" the total with the last combination set.

Total workout @ home 47.5 min. 500 swings / 550 snatches
Total workout today 86 min., 1300 swings / 550 snatches, I guess I pass on my evening walk, lol!

Sunday, May 18, 2008

16 kg Snatch/Negative press combination/swing work

In true 'Tracy' fashion I had no idea what I was going to do today! I knew I wanted to swing the 16kg more, and I wasn't in the mood for sets longer than 2 min., so I combined one hand swings (transfers) with 2 hand speed swings., using this combination to create a kind of interval training style with KB's



AM weight 137.8
10:00am Bikram yoga
11:45am KB

Warm up

40 2 hand swing w/12kg
, 1 min work, 1 min rest = 10 min (old school warm up, lol)

Work Sets alternating 16kg & 12kg

20 transfers, 22 two hand speed swings, 20 transfers,
1.5 min work, 30 sec. rest x 16 sets
32 min. total

I started with the 16kg and ended with the 12kg, 8 sets each.



I ended my workout with 10/10 snatch x 5 sets w/16kg = 200 points

The first set of 10/10 I used a negative press (video shows this set), it took one full minute each side. The remaining 4 sets took one minute total w/1 min rest for an additional 10 min.

Total workout 52 minutes

Friday, May 16, 2008

Old School, Tracy Style

I barely got to my workout this morning, I was so close to putting it off until tomorrow, but with Mark's encouragement I just went out into the gym, I wasn't even dressed for a workout, (especially not for any kind of video, I would never wear shorts for a video!), and banged one out, in true "old school" combo sets.

I had to keep it super simple, and I haven't been pressing near enough, so the combination had to include lots of those (presses). I added in a snatch with a neg press to increase the purpose of the shoulder work, at the same time building yet more points for the snatch race, but I concentrated on a powerful, quick, hip drive and fast punch out at the top of the snatch, instead of resorting to an efficient, "rocking for reps", snatch form.



Warm up (old school!)

40 2 hand swings w/12kg, 1 min. wrk, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

Work Sets w/12kg

clean, push press, snatch, neg press, trans x 22 = 3 min. work, 1 min. rest x 10 sets = 40 min.

Total workout 50 min.
220 snatch points

I called this "old school", because this is an example of one of my original combination sets. In the beginning I would do 12 combinations per set, 1 1/2 -2 min long, instead of 22 combinations @ 3 min. per set. Also only taking 1 min rest inbetween sets made the work to rest ratio 3 to 1, instead of 1 to 1, equal rest to equal work, ratio.

Old school still kicks ass! Life is good.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Snatch Transfers



I find that adding snatches into my swing workouts lets me accumulate points and still get what I need to get from my KB training, which is to increase my heart rate to the point of training cardio as well as building/mantaining muscle.

I thought I might go into the gym today and just snatch the 12kg nonstop for as long as I could, but I'm too efficient snatching the 12kg, and snatching the 16kg for reps , is difficult, or should I say heavy, because I do so much more training, with clients in addition to my own wokouts. Plus, I've been training later in the day, and I don't think I'm as strong as first thing in the morning.

Here's what I did today



AM weight 134.0
7:15 Bikram yoga
1:15 KB snatch/transfers

Warm up, 5 min misc. swings/ snatches

Work sets w/12kg

16 snatch transfers, 1 min
18 snatch transfers, 1 min

The first 2 sets were 10 minutes long, alternating 16 / 18 snatch transfers every other minute. 340 snatches

The second 2 sets were 5 minutes long, starting with 16, alternating 18, ending with 16 per minute. 174 snatches

The last 5 sets were only 2 minutes long both minutes 16 snatch transfers. 160 snatches

All sets had a 1 minute rest period.

Total workout 54 minutes, 674 snatches

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Team Rif

How lucky am I? Since my schedule has changed recently, I'm going to take advantage of living with "The World's Greatest Personal Trainer" (inside joke for those that attended my Cert, lol), and not only get some of the greatest coaching available, but I get to have a great training partner! In fact, my training has reached a different level these days and Mark will help put some structure and balance back into it.
But until then.....I stuck with some simple combination KB sets, alternating the 12kg, and the 16kg, equal work to equal rest ratio, because I'm working on a workout DVD and I wanted to experiment with time/weight/combinations, etc.. Since this ratio is not usually that challenging for me, (that's why I chose to alternate weight), I really worked on my form and extending all swings to get maximum benefits.



I'll post the exact combinations later today..... But since I know my workout was 68 minutes long, equal work to equal rest translates to 40 reps per min of work x 34 = 1360 swings. (680 w/12kg & 680 w/16kg).

Swings are good!

Monday, May 12, 2008

Don't Feel Sad

I felt that this comment, left for me from my last blogpost, deserved some attention....

shawda said...
I read your blogs everyday and love the creativity of your cooking skills. Per your "almost jealous" thought and some of your other postings about food, I have a sense of sadness for you. To struggle with food issues is something I really don't know about, but can't imagine what its like that it controls a huge portion of your life.

Congratulations to you though for overcoming so much and creating a healthy lifestyle and changing bad habits to good. You did it the right way versus your friend!

May 12, 2008 5:51:00 AM PDT

Tracy said...
shawnda,

It's interesting to me that I'm in the middle of writing a blogpost for my other blog, Food and Thought, on the reason why I decided to seperate the two subjects of training and food/eating related topics, when I lost a little steam and decided to check for any comments here, on Rediscovering Strength....and I come across your comment about feeling "sad" for me because you interpret my ability to write about my emotionally driven behaviors as "struggles".

My immediate reaction is one of defensiveness by feeling "sad" for you in return. Sad because instead of relating my particular "struggle" with one of your own....it obviously doesn't apply to food or eating, but we all have them....unless your life is, and has always been "perfect".

Why do you read my stuff everyday? Do you like feeling sad? Or does my life and it's perceived problems make you feel better about your own?

It's funny how I have so much time in my life for being creative with food and cooking, training my ass off, not to mention taking care of a household, being a wife as well as having a part time job, and blogging almost daily.....taking and posting pictures and video takes alot of time and effort, BTW! It's amazing how my "struggle with food" controls such a huge portion of my life, that it's a wonder how I get anything else done! I mean really.....you feel sad for me?

Life is not a struggle, it's an experience. An experience that gives me an opportunity to become my best. To feel my best. To give my best. And if my thoughts about food and eating give me the ability to live my best life, by self reflection, then I'm grateful.

So instead of feeling sad for you, I'm grateful to you. Grateful that you reminded me of how important compassion is. Grateful that I'm not afraid of anyone else's opinion about me and my life so that when my experience can touch someone in a positve way, which it does more often than not via comments and personal e-mails that I get daily, it lifts me up. And grateful that you've given me some inspiration for yet one more blogpost!

PS the point of the last post "almost jealous" was not that of gastric bypass being "right or wrong".... .again another judgement. We are all doing our best, that I know.

May 12, 2008 6:58:00 AM PDT

I don't feel sad for anyone, especially not myself....I never feel sad for myself! And I don't encourage anyone to feel sad for me or themselves or anyone. Having compassion and having pity are two different things. I believe we all have exactly the life experience we create for ourselves with the free will to change things once we become aware, and take responsibility to be our best or make our lives better. I am not a victim of my life, and I don't believe anyone else is either.

I'm the luckiest person I know. Lucky because I recognize how lucky I am. I'm the happiest person I know. I define "happiness" as an appreciation for my life, for my good life.

Every once in a while I question my purpose. I trust that I'm living my purpose.....everyday
.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Almost Jealous

I've been meaning to write how my opinion, and judgements about gastric bypass surgery has changed this last year since a close friend mine, of over 20 years, had the surgery this past December, but until I have the time to do that I want to share this short story.......

I saw my friend on Wednesday, and as of this week she has lost about 75lbs. She has been the 'model' patient and she has been motivated and committed to following all post op recommendations, and has seen the results of that. Her starting weight was about 230, she is about 5'1", and her goal is 130, knowing that the average patient will gain 10-20% back within the first couple of years....but anyway.....

She was telling me that next month when she meets with her doctor she expects to have lost an additional 10 pounds. Ten pounds! And the way she said it was so 'matter of fact', I thought, "Gee, it must be nice!". Ten pounds, practically guaranteed.

There I sat, carrying around about 10 pounds I want to get rid of, and finding it difficult lately to do what I say 'I want' to do. And there she sat, with her 4 oz of yogurt for dinner, knowing that she will do exactly that. And she doesn't even exercise. For a minute I was jealous!

And then came my reality check! Yes, there she sat with her 4 oz of yogurt....not her huge bowl of salad for dinner, after her huge bowl of soup for lunch after an hour long Ginger Snap cookie binge the day before....you get the picture. She is losing her weight because she eats around 1000-1200 calories daily! So what, that she can't eat more than that because of the surgery, it doesn't matter, what matters is the bottom line, portion control and cutting calories...they usually go hand in hand. If I cut my calories that low, everyday, without fail, you bettter believe I'd be 10 lbs lighter in a months time too! Guaranteed.

So, I think I'll give it a go! Yes, I've been saying that....blah, blah, blah.....but this gave me a renewed perspective, if she can do it, so can I. I've done it before, I know how to do it, everyone does. Back to a little more structure and discipline to establish the eating habits I need to see the results I say 'I want'. One months time......

Sometimes a little jealousy can be good, lol!

Finding a Snatch Groove

I did something this week that I haven't done since my 'forced' time off post op...I took 2 days off in a row from KB's! I was burned out, and feeling weak. So I hit it pretty hard on Saturday morning rotating 3 minute swing sets with 3 min fast snatch sets.



This video is the last 15/15 of the 5th, 3 min, snatch set, 40 minutes into my workout. You might be able to see how I use more of a 'squatting' motion on my right hand snatch, and more of a 'hinge' motion on my left. The difference is most noticible looking at the angle of my shins and the depth of my butt. Squatting, my shins move forward and my butt dips down, especially as I get tired near the end of the set. While hinging, my shins stay verticle and my butt reaches backwards. It's funny how your snatch groove can change to adapt to length of sets, weight of bell or even from right to left.

Saturday 8:00am KB w/12kg

20 2 hand swing,
20 tranfers,
20, 1 swing, 1 trans (40 reps)
20 transfers,
20 2 hand swing,
120 rep set, 3 min work, 1 min rest

15/15 x 3 snatch (15 snatch per 30 sec. pace)
3 min work, 1 min rest

I rotated these 2 sets x5, before dropping the snatch sets down to 15/15 x 2, 2 min work, 1 min. rest for an additonal 2 rotations. The first 10 sets (5 each swing/snatch) took 8 min per rotation for 40 minutes work. the remaining 4 sets (2 each swing, snatch) took 14 min.

Total workout 54 minutes
560 snatches

560 snatches at a 15 snatch per 30 sec pace was enough to kick my ass, but alternating with swings really got me! I couldn't even talk inbetween sets....I love that! That means I'm working hard!

I did a speed swing 'Max Vo2 based' workout on Wednesday, but it was weak and dreadful! That's when I knew I was training too much, I didn't even write it down! I did manage to snatch one set of 5/5 w/16kg, so I guess I should count that 20 points....every little bit!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Tracys All Day Lunch 5/8

Back to 1000 calories a day! Shoot for less, and end up about right! I've been messing around too much lately and I've dropped some good habits and replaced them with 'not so good', or 'could be better'! Thank goodness I still love good, healthy fresh foods and prepare most of my own food daily.

Menu

coffee, tea w/cream 120 cal.
small chili pepper stew w/chicken (I made this with Jen in SB!) 250 cal.
kale salad w/almonds (see Food and Thought for recipe) 300 cal.
apple w/ginger 60 cal.

Total 720

Although I want to average 1000-1250 cal. daily, this low calorie day was to offset a ginger snap cookie binge the day before. In the last 5 days, 3 of those days I was able to stay well within my range.

It's time, again, to seriously consider smaller portions, healthy foods or not.

Monday, May 5, 2008

500 snatches breaks 10,000

Monday, after 5:30am Bikram yoga,

One 21 minute set of snatches (no rest)

12/12 x 20 = 480
10/10 x 1 = 20
500 snatches

I sped up the pace to 12 snatches per 30 sec., and had only tried this pace for 12 minutes straight in the past, dropping down to 10's for another 8 minutes for a 20 min set. It was much tougher, in fact I was wondering if I could keep it up for 20 minutes, but I just kept reaching for that number (20). The Gymboss keep me on target letting me know when I was falling short. At a 10/10 per minute pace, I could go for an hour, that, I have no doubt.

I was tempted to just keep going....but I only wanted to break 10,000, and if I did the math correctly, I broke it today!(I'll be recording soon with the snatch calculator to help keep more accurate numbers). Another 40,000 to go, maybe I'll try Aaron Friday's workout and just it done!

Sunday 5/4, 208 snatches
Monday 5/5, 500 snatches

9308 + 208 + 500 = 10,016

Sunday, May 4, 2008

More 2 Hand Up Hill Ladders

I tore up my hands and fingers pretty good while I was in Santa Barbara using bells other than Dragon Door kettlebells (see the end of post for Friday SB workout). So taking Saturday off from KB's wasn't an option. Here's what I did Sunday after 10am yoga.



Work Sets

2 hand swings, 11-12 reps per set,
w/16kg, 20kg, 24kg, 28kg,
15 sec. work, 15 sec rest
48-50 transfers w/12kg,
1 min, work, 15 sec rest

I did this combination about 12 times (I lost count even with the gymboss! Long story), so with a short warmup it was approx 45 min. work.

I finished with snatch/holds. I would of liked to just bang out hundreds of snatches for the race, but I have to put my training first. So I worked on increasing my shoulder strength by doing some snatch/holds. I started with seeing how long I could snatch on one arm before switching...not exactly smart after a 45 min workout! I only lasted 1 1/2 minute the first set 20/20.

All of the next sets were done in succession without any rest between. Two 1 min. sets per arm before switching 12/12 = 48 snatches, (4 min total), and then I dropped down to 30 sec/30 sec., 6/6 (1 snatch/5 sec hold) x 10 = 120 snatches

208 snatch total


Santa Barbara Swing Workout

I was inspired to swing for 5 minute sets when Greg Mishkin told me that when he takes Doug Nepodal's KB class, Doug always ends the class with a 5 min swing set. So I thought, when in Santa Barbara, do as the Santa Barbarans!

200 rep set alternating the 12kg, & 16kg x 6 sets (3 each before the 16kg tore up my hands so I couldn't do anymore! What you can't see under the tape is 'dime-sized' watery blisters)

40 2 hand swings
40 transfers
20 1 swing, 1 transfers (40 reps)
40 transfers,
40 2 hand swings

5 minute set, 1 min rest x6
1200 swings, 35 min. total

It's All Easy, 'til....

The best plan in the world is easy to implement until......

Mark always says, it's all easy 'til it's heavy! Well I say, it's all easy 'til you get hungry! Or until you think you're hungry, because what is that hunger that isn't a physical hunger? You know, the one when your belly's full, but your hunger isn't satisfied.

I'm rarely hungry in the morning, and I can have the best of plans for the day. I can have good food in the fridge and freezer, and I can even have it all portioned out....and then comes a point in the day when I start to, physically, get hungry...fine, I eat. But then it starts to snowball..... But I just ate, how can I still be hungry?

OK, fine, I'll just eat more of my planned food, fine. Sometimes that is fine, sometimes it's not. I'm not carrying around this extra 5-7lbs from the good, healthy, preprepared, pre-portioned foods in my fridge, it's coming from the food that I eat to try and fill something.....but what, because I can't really be physically hungry.

I don't dwell on trying to figure out my childhood past for the reasons why I do certain things or and where I went wrong, but I do reflect on recent past behavior.....and chose differently if I didn't like the outcome, and then let it go. In fact, often as I reflect I feel grateful for being able to have had the experience that brought me to that place of choice. How exciting, I have choice!

I always start first with reflecting on what I don't want, so I end up thinking about what I do want. And what I find to be true for me, is that by changing my attitude to one of gratitude for the experience, I move away from the downward spiral of feeling bad about the behavior, to one moving forward into that of wanting better.

I want better...more goodness, and now I can see more clearly what I need to do, how I need to think, to keep that forward good feeling momentum. It's what you do most of the time. Most of the time I eat great food, in fact more, and more, and more often that's the case. And that makes me feel good, physically and mentally. So maybe I need to end this post by saying...it's all easy...period.

Life is good....period.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

I'm Not Gonna Sit and Let this World Go By.....

Those are the lyrics to a favorite song of mine. It wasn't too long ago that I would of freaked out if I had to leave the 'comfort zone' of my own little world. My own little world included, my own food, my own organic grocery stores, my own kitchen, knives, pots, pans, etc. My own gym, with my kettlebells. My own yoga studio, my own walking trails. In fact just a year ago I traveled to the April Cert with Mark and was freaking out that I wouldn't have a way to prepare my own food for 4 days.

Freaking out that I was going to gain weight. I planned for days ahead to make sure I took as much of my own food as I could, making a salad to eat on the plane and packing other foods that wouldn't spoil before I could get to some refrigeration. I was afraid of not getting enough fresh veggies and I didn't trust myself to not overeat the wrong foods. I knew we would be eating out, and up until that point I had not eaten out more than a few of times in couple of years.

Freaking out that all the hard work I had put into my training was going to disappear if I didn't get my workouts in. I actually took my last yoga class hours before my plane was sheduled to depart. Everyday I was at the cert I walked to and from the hotel and field, probably about 2 miles. I even missed part of Sunday morning in exchange for an hour long walk. I did manage to get one KB workout in at lunchtime, I think on Sat.

But now, just recently I've realized that I'm a big girl! I know when I'm eating too much food, whether it's good food or not. I know how much is enough. It's time for me to relax and listen to my body. I'm not going to starve, and I'm not going to let myself down by losing control, and making excuses for it. There's a whole world out there and I want to be part of it.

This year I'll have many opportunities to travel, unfortunately I chose not to go with Mark to Denmark, (he left yesterday), but I'm headed down south to Santa Barbara this morning, away from my comfort zone. I thought about taking loads of prepared food with me, and I will take some, but I'm not worried. And some of the things I will be doing is alot of cooking and KB's, but it might not always be that way.

There's so much in life to experience. And although I've come so far in the past few years, I feel as if the goodness in my life is coming at me faster and I have to be ready to go with it. I am ready. Ready to trust myself, ready to let the world in, and I'm not gonna let it pass me by.