The Perfect Weight

It occured to me the other day that I am pretty much at a perfect weight, given my level of activity. Could I weigh less? I most certainly could weigh more. So, I concluded that I am in my perfect weight range.

I have no doubt I could weigh less, but why? To weigh less I would have to eat less, I could do that, but my training might suffer slightly, and to keep the muscle I work so hard to build, my weight loss would be in the form of bodyfat. And for strictly cosmetic reasons I don't want my BF to get too low, I'm too old, and there's no need. I have the willpower to starve myself down, but, come on that's stupid.

But every once in a while I'll see someone smaller than me and think, "Why can't I be that small?", "Why can't I be a size 2?". But most of the time, I'll look around me and to my surprise I might be the only person that I see that doesn't have to lose any weight. I'm not kidding! I was in Trader Joes on a Grand Opening weekend, the store was very crowded, and as I looked around I noticed that I was the only person, men included, that didn't need to lose any weight. And this is a store that caters to, supposedly, food conscious customers.

I also know that if I gained 5 lbs and kept my range at 130-135, I could become much stronger, look softer and be able to eat more! And my biggest resistance to that is mental. There's something about weighing in th 120's that mentally feels successful. What's that all about? What's so special about 125?

It's been hard enough for me to put on this last 3-5lbs, but I know that most of it is muscle. I know that because in addition to weighing my self everyday and monitoring my BF levels, my clothes fit differently. My jeans are tight around my legs, especially my hamstrings (squatting), but not around the waist/hips. My t-shirts are tight around my arms and shoulders, but no where else, I'm still the same size, and I like how that feels.

So I find it interesting, when having conversations with people about weight loss, that people fall into 4 groups (IMO), the ones that have alot of weight to lose, and I consider that more than 60 lbs, then there's the group that have a good amount to lose 40-60lbs, and then the group with 20-40 and then there's the group within 5-20lbs.

For now, I want to refer to the last group, 5-20lbs, since I'm closest now to this group.

If someone asked me if I wanted to lose any weight, if I thought really hard before answering, my answer would be "Yea, a couple of pounds." A couple of pounds? What does that mean? Aren't I already there? I mean, a couple of pounds is really only a couple of days away, if I really wanted to. So I'm already there, in my range. So after thinking harder before my answer I would have to conclude that my answer is "NO, I'm perfectly within my range." But as soon as it gets to 5lbs., it easily becomes 10, and then...... So at 5 to 10 a person is soooo close to the range they want to be.

I remember being so far away from my range (obviously, @ 250lbs.!) that I couldn't understand why a person soooo close to thier ideal weight, couldn't just tighten the belt slightly, and within a few weeks, get there! It's the same lack of motivation of a person having much more to lose. It's the same....motivation.

The first week of my diet I lost 5lbs. I didn't weigh myself for a solid week, and when I stepped on that scale and saw that 5lb. loss I knew if I could lose 5lbs., I could lose 50lbs.! And if I could lose 50lbs., I could lose 100lbs.! I knew it! I had no doubt that I was going to lose 100lbs! So as I got closer to my goal weights (my first goal was 200, then 175, then 145, and finally 135) and I saw that I could weigh whatever I wanted to, I knew how, and I had the motivation, my perfect weight was my desicion.

To be honest I still struggle with wanting to be "skinny". Somehow "skinny" still seems to be some sort of ideal in this culture and society. And I know that I can be "skinny" if I want to, in fact I was not too long ago, I think Mark described it as "scrawny"! But, taking everything into account, my genetics, my age, my activity level, my health (this is the most important one!), my lifestyle, I have to admit that I am at my perfect weight!

Monday AM weight 129.2
10:30am 1000 swing KB workout (details below)
5:15 Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee/cream 70 cal.
prunes 80 cal.
oats/sugar 200 cal.
cherries 100 cal.
broccoli salad w/grapes 400 cal. / roasted pork loin 275 cal.
chocolate sucker 70 cal.
Starbucks passion fruit iced tea (no sweetener) 0 cal.?
green soup w/chicken and cottage cheese 550 cal.

Total calories 1745

Sometimes I like to cook food monochromatically! So I used all of the green veggies I had in my fridge and made soup. Celery, onion, anaheim chili, pasilla chili, tomatillos, kale (stems included), cabbage, green beans and summer squash, garlic and fresh herbs. I didn't eat my last meal until after yoga (7:30pm), I hate eating late, but I have a heavy workout this morning and I couldn't eat before yoga.

Evening yoga class is pure willpower to attend! I hate it so much, the ONLY reason I go, is because I know I HAVE to! I need it for my health and training and the studio that I currently go to only has the 5:15pm on Mondays. I need to switch studios soon!

10:30am 1000 swings w/12kg

#1 100 2 hand swings 2 1/2 min. on , 1 min rest
#2 100 1 hand swings switching every 10, 2 1/2 min. on, 1 min rest

Each set rotated 5 x (10 sets total), 7 min. to complete both sets, 5 x 7 = 35 min. total

The weather is beautiful and so is life!