I'm not going to pretend that when I was extremely overweight that it didn't bother Mark at all, it did. In the beginning of my weight gain he would often ask me "So, when are you going to do something about it?" and I would always (always) reply with the same answer, "I don't know when, but I know that I will." Not exactly what he wanted to hear, he wanted to hear a plan, a timetable and maybe a little more desire. He eventually stopped asking!
My reply was always the same because I knew it to be true. I knew how to lose weight, I knew how to improve my level of health and fitness, and I knew I had the willpower and discipline inside of me, I just didn't know why I wasn't ready to implement all of those things yet. (Not to mention the fact that I was married to the "World's Best Personal Trainer" and strength expert/genius!) And I still don't know exactly what happened. I know the events that lead up to the day I chose to change it, but I still don't know why. What I do know is that I always believed that it would.... always. I can't stress that enough!
When I talk with someone that has given up I wonder what kind of response they expect to get, sympathy won't be coming from me! But I think that's what people want, (not all people of course). Like me, people want love, acceptance, and validation, but they look for it in the form of sympathy. Being a victim is not empowering. It's not taking responsibility or accountablity. It's surrendering your belief in yourself.
Believing in yourself, in your strength, in your ability, applies to all areas in your life, not just your weight. Your attitude can lift you up or bring you down, it's your choice. I think that's why, although overweight and uncomfortable, I was never "depressed" about my situation.
I'll be honest and say that I started to wonder during the last few years of being overweight if it would ever change. Would I ever find motivation before it was too late??? And then a miracle happened. My motivation came, and I transformed myself, body, and now soul. More than I could of ever imagined. But always believed.
Believe in your good life.
I was married to an RKC, I met him when I was very overweight, he was my trainer. We got married, we're not anymore. I think a small part of it was his/our focus on my body, like some kind of group project we had going-- it made me very insecure. I've since gained weight during the divorce-- some weird sort of rebellion I think.
ReplyDeleteThe person I date now is a lifter too, but the response I get when I mention my weight is "As long as you're comfortable." Helps to date a PLer I think!
This post I think speaks to the strength of your marriage. :)
Tracy,
ReplyDeleteAMAZING post!!!!I loved it!
God bless you!
christine, yea, he's alright! LOL
ReplyDeleteHey, 20 years don't happen by accident! Alot of people don't know that Mark and I were engaged in less than a week after meeting eachother (6 days to be exact, we met on Wed. and were engaged on the following Tues.!) We were married about 3 months later.
lol, sorry, @ "like some kind of group project". I can relate. I was always trying to get Tracy engaged in some way in training of some kind.then I just accepted it once i realized it was up to her and when and if she did it it wouldnt be because of my nagging her.
ReplyDeleteshe put some kind of spell on me I think. its still on....
ReplyDeleteRif,
ReplyDeleteBless your heart for seeing that while encouragement is good, ultimately it was up to her. ;)
AWESOME! Amen Sister! That is spoken from the soul, from truth that only you can speak but all can learn and draw inspiration from!
ReplyDeleteNow that is what a true relationship is all about. Truly inspiring for everyone!
ReplyDeleteHey! I put up with alot too!
ReplyDelete