Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Moving On....

I began the transformation of my body in January, 2005, and over the following 3 years I thought I had also transformed my life, and I did to a certain point, but I've come to realize that I'm still hanging on to much of the past. Part of my past is the professional job I've had since I was 19 years old, for almost 26 years my job as a manicurist.

There has been so much I've loved about my choice profession. Besides being really good at what I do, and having a natural talent for sculpting artificial nails, winning many competitions and national awards for my work, I've always loved working in a beauty salon, (owning my own salon, Designing Nails, before Gabriel was born). I loved the independence of working for myself and setting my own hours, not to mention making a crazy good amount of money for a girl that never finished the 10th grade, enough to easily support myself and a small child (before I met Mark). But the one thing that has always given me greif about this profession is the vapor, fumes and dust that accompany working with liquid acrylic products. (Although I have always strongly supported and promoted natural nail care)
I was able to build a full time business quickly, only cutting back when Mark and I had Gabe, then rebuilding a full time business again, when Gabe entered the 1st grade which helped us buy our first home, and then over the past 3 years back to part time 2-3 days a week, until very recently 1-2 days a week, and now 4 days a month, working everyother week. But even 4 days a month is too much.

I remember when I made my first major cut back form 5 days to 2-3, one of my clients asked me what I was going to do with all of my "free time", as if doing nails was the only thing keeping me busy, lol. Free time? Is there such a thing in life? I don't have any free time, I'm always busy! But my answer to her was that I wanted to spend more of my life growing and nurturing my personal relationships with my family and friends.....much more important than sucking down dust and fumes, (I didn't say that part, lol) So, have I done what I thought I was going to do? Grow and nuture my personal relationships with family and friends? Not enough. I mean, it was what it was and now it's time for me to put more energy in that direction.

I thought I was hanging on to this part of my life as some sort of way to keep some independence. I liked having my own money, and having an excuse to get dressed up a couple of times a week, lol. I thought it gave me some sort of freedom. But the independence and freedom I need is independence and freedom from this job! I don't need this job.....I have enough money, and I don't need an excuse to get dressed up!

I'm moving on and letting go of this part of my life to make room for something different. What exactly? I'll keep you posted!



This above picture was provided to me by Jen B. of me and her son Jake, it was taken in October 2003, only 5 years ago!


The picture in the middle left is of me and my long time client and friend (of 25 years!), Cindy H. She's my friend that had gastric bypass this last December and has currently lost 82 lbs.

32 comments:

-aka- Chev said...

Well I'm a fan of your blog. I even have you listed on my "Interesting Blogs" section so that I remember to check your progress and routines. You're a motivation to many, that pic of you in 2003 blew my mind. Whatever you decide to do, enjoy every second of it and keep on exercising because you look great.

Take Care,
Chev
http://fitness102.blogspot.com

mark blakemore said...

tracy, you make this too easy. i had a 53 year old woman ask for help lastnight. i gave her your site. problem solved.

great job as always!! your inspiration is far reaching.

Tori said...

I love your blogs...you are so insightful and good at expressing your thoughts! I can relate to this entry a lot. As you know, I too am in a moving on period in my life. It is exciting and a little scary at the same time. I bet all of your clients will miss you dearly! My mom did nails out of our house when I was a kid. I always had fun watching her. I blame her for my HUGE nail polish collection!! :)

1gabby1 said...

Tracy your blog never ceases to floor me. Your insight and growth are truly inspiring. You are such a strong women in more way's then i think you'll ever know and we are all blessed that we get to come here and reap a little something each day.
Gabby

Happiness Within said...

Tracy,

You look so sexy! :0) What a blessing to have the opportunity to work 4 days a week to dedicate your life to what you love Family, Friends, Fitness and FOOD!!

Tamikka

jenn.bermudez said...

Tracy! OMG! *tears*

Susan said...

Tracy, what a great example of what Courage really looks like. You have consistently chosen to pursue thoughts and behaviors that bring you closer to the person you want to become...even when those choices are not easy or comfortable. You have challenged me to continue striving to be better in all aspects of life.
I'm excited for you! Can't wait to read about what's next!
Susan

Acknowledge, Forgive, Change said...

Tracy,

Your strength and courage are always a great example to me and I'm sure to many. I hope to get together soon.

Cathy

Tracy said...

aka-chev,

Thank you for the kind words, I love posting before and after pictures because what happened to me...what I made happen...is real.

Tracy said...

Mark,

I do? I make it look easy? Wow!

I really want everyone that thinks it's too late to look and feel their best that it's possible. It's never too late to move in the right direction.

Tracy said...

Tori,

Quitting on clients is the hardest part, it's rare one of them says "Good for you!"...it's always, "What am I supposed to do now?" as if I have to be responsible for them forever.

As far as collecting too many bottles of nail polish, I've had the opposite experience. I only like a sheer pink on my hands and either red or mocha/mauve (OPI's Jauva mauva) on my feet!

Tracy said...

Gabby,

Thank you for writing such nice things. I'm learning how there's strength in weakness, and that's also something that I share.

That's one of the reasons posting my "fat" pictures doesn't bother me.

Tracy said...

Tamikka,

"Family, friends, fitness and food" I love it!

(oh yes, and thank you for the "sexy" compliment, lol Not bad for an old lady, huh?)

Tracy said...

Jen B,

I was hoping you would find this post! Isn't your boy just adorable? Memories.......

thanks for the pic

Tracy said...

Susan,

I feel that consistency is key. Keep showing up for workouts, keep eating and choosing good foods, and keep thinking good thoughts.

Tracy said...

Cathy,

You started a blog with some real potential....keep it up, you have something to offer too!

GooRobb said...

You are on such a beautiful journey. You have made many people more beautiful along the way with your artistic nail creations and you continue to make them more beautiful in a somewhat different fashion via your health and exercise insight. Peace, Happiness, and Continued Equanimity to You.

Marla said...

Lucky Tracy,

I sooo... get you. Thanks for putting it out there. Rock on!

Lisa said...

You completely blew me away when you said you never completed 10th grade. My dad has always told me that I need to get a good education to be successful in life, etc. You TOTALLY prove him wrong! (But I still plan to go to college. LOL. I think he might disown me if I didn't.)

Concrete Queen said...

Your Strength Inspires everyone, it has Inspired me ! Very proud of you and Our Friendship !

Regina said...

Tracy, Thanks for sharing this post here. I started my kettlebell journey in February, when I first learned about Kettlebells and got enough courage to attend a workshop, it was the first time I had been out of the house for something not related to my job in 6 years.

You also have reminded me and inspired me that what is real is what makes life so grand. More power to you and your family and those fortunate enough to be one of your friends! Best Regina

Regina said...

February of 2005 that is, one month after you began your transformation...what are the odds? none, that is what makes life so interesting..everything happens for a reason..no coincidences..

Gabi said...

A great post about a great attitude to life and yourself, Tracy! Very inspirational. You keep changing, there are aspects coming and going, some are short lived and some stay long, but at any constellation of these, there're always some other aspects that remain constant to ensure you don't lose yourself in the process.
Mobility and stability at the same time - like with kettlebell training :)

Tracy said...

goorobb,

Wow, I never loked at it that way...I guess I'm still in the beauty business! Thanks for the kind words.

Tracy said...

Marla,

You get me? Really? Let me in on it, because I'm kind of still trying to figure me out!

Did I miss a call from you? Hey, check your blog every once in a while, will ya?

Tracy said...

Lisa,

I would nver advocate dropping out of school. The social aspects of school, friendships which I never had with kids my own age, is an important part too.

Lucky for me I found a profession I had a talent for, but no paid vacations (to this day...it's sucks), if I don't work...I don't get paid! No insurance plan, no retirement, etc...

Stay in school!

Tracy said...

concrete queen,

I never knew I inspired you, so thanks for telling me. Now it's your turn! Be your amazing self, and kick ass girlfriend!


Cool name BTW!

Tracy said...

Regina,

Wow, the timing is trippy, huh? Well as I start the next life transformation at this time, I guess it's time for you too, right?

Let's take what we've learned so far and bump it up another notch, the best is yet to come.

Tracy said...

Gabi,

With my training I've built stability and strength, and training is metaphor for life.

Concrete Queen said...

Girlfriend , knowing me as well and for as long as you have....( my what you see is what you get attitude ) I have told you in different ways.
But Yes ! I have always thought you a great friend as well as inspiration ! we give each other strength in different ways, just so happens that it's your Strength I need now .

"knew you'd like the name"

Regina said...

You know it! it is so on!! Thank you!! and you are so right on about taking what we have learned to the next level. I am with you always!! :)

LizLuvsCrochet said...

I can totally understand you wanting to move on from the nail world, its going to suck not having you at the salon all the time. Already with your cut down schedule I always look for you but you are barely there :(

Isn't it amazing how much younger you look in the present photographs?

Awesome, as usual!