Sunday, May 11, 2008

Almost Jealous

I've been meaning to write how my opinion, and judgements about gastric bypass surgery has changed this last year since a close friend mine, of over 20 years, had the surgery this past December, but until I have the time to do that I want to share this short story.......

I saw my friend on Wednesday, and as of this week she has lost about 75lbs. She has been the 'model' patient and she has been motivated and committed to following all post op recommendations, and has seen the results of that. Her starting weight was about 230, she is about 5'1", and her goal is 130, knowing that the average patient will gain 10-20% back within the first couple of years....but anyway.....

She was telling me that next month when she meets with her doctor she expects to have lost an additional 10 pounds. Ten pounds! And the way she said it was so 'matter of fact', I thought, "Gee, it must be nice!". Ten pounds, practically guaranteed.

There I sat, carrying around about 10 pounds I want to get rid of, and finding it difficult lately to do what I say 'I want' to do. And there she sat, with her 4 oz of yogurt for dinner, knowing that she will do exactly that. And she doesn't even exercise. For a minute I was jealous!

And then came my reality check! Yes, there she sat with her 4 oz of yogurt....not her huge bowl of salad for dinner, after her huge bowl of soup for lunch after an hour long Ginger Snap cookie binge the day before....you get the picture. She is losing her weight because she eats around 1000-1200 calories daily! So what, that she can't eat more than that because of the surgery, it doesn't matter, what matters is the bottom line, portion control and cutting calories...they usually go hand in hand. If I cut my calories that low, everyday, without fail, you bettter believe I'd be 10 lbs lighter in a months time too! Guaranteed.

So, I think I'll give it a go! Yes, I've been saying that....blah, blah, blah.....but this gave me a renewed perspective, if she can do it, so can I. I've done it before, I know how to do it, everyone does. Back to a little more structure and discipline to establish the eating habits I need to see the results I say 'I want'. One months time......

Sometimes a little jealousy can be good, lol!

5 comments:

ruhig_m said...

Her starting weight was only 230 and she went for surgery? I'm 5'2" and 193. I know I'm nowhere near needing surgery. Did she have some serious health condition that needed to be rectified immediately? Only 230?!

Tracy said...

ruhig_m,

I know, I agree. I can't really speak for her in specifics, but she is older than me, about 60, and she did have some health issues.

shawda said...

I read your blogs everyday and love the creativity of your cooking skills. Per your "almost jealous" thought and some of your other postings about food, I have a sense of sadness for you. To struggle with food issues is something I really don't know about, but can't imagine what its like that it controls a huge portion of your life. Congratulations to you though for overcoming so much and creating a healthy lifestyle and changing bad habits to good. You did it the right way versus your friend!

Tracy said...

shawnda,

It's interesting to me that I'm in the middle of writing a blogpost for my other blog, Food and Thought, on the reason why I decided to seperate the two subjects of training and food/eating related topics, when I lost a little steam and decided to check for any comments here, on Rediscovering Strength....and I come across your comment about feeling "sad" for me because you interpret my ability to write about my emotionally driven behaviors as "struggles".

My immediate reaction is one of defensiveness by feeling "sad" for you in return. Sad because instead of relating my particular "struggle" with one of your own....it obviously doesn't apply to food or eating, but we all have them....unless your life is, and has always been "perfect".

Why do you read my stuff everyday? Do you like feeling sad? Or does my life and it's perceived problems make you feel better about your own?

It's funny how I have so much time in my life for being creative with food and cooking, training my ass off, not to mention taking care of a household, being a wife as well as having a part time job, and blogging almost daily.....taking and posting pictures and video takes alot of time and effort, BTW!
It's amazing how my "sruggle with food" controls such a huge portion of my life, that it's a wonder how I get anything else done!

I mean really.....you feel sad for me?

Life is not a struggle, it's an experience. An experience that gives me an opportunity to become my best. To feel my best. To give my best. And if my thoughts about food and eating give me the ability to live my best life, by self reflection, then I'm grateful.

So instead of feeling sad for you, I'm grateful to you. Grateful that you reminded me of how important compassion is.
Grateful that I'm not afraid of anyone else's opinion about me and my life so that when my experience can touch someone in a positve way, which it does more often than not via comments and personal e-mails that I get daily, it lifts me up.

And grateful that you've given me some inspiration for yet one more blogpost!

PS the point of the last post "almost jealous" was not that of gastric bypass being "right or wrong".... .again another judgement. We are all doing our best, that I know.

Tamika said...

This entry really spoke to me. I mean the only one holding me back from my desire to lose weight and get healthy is MYSELF. I know what to do, and have known for years. I just need to get with it.

BTW: Love your blogs.