Thursday, May 1, 2008

I'm Not Gonna Sit and Let this World Go By.....

Those are the lyrics to a favorite song of mine. It wasn't too long ago that I would of freaked out if I had to leave the 'comfort zone' of my own little world. My own little world included, my own food, my own organic grocery stores, my own kitchen, knives, pots, pans, etc. My own gym, with my kettlebells. My own yoga studio, my own walking trails. In fact just a year ago I traveled to the April Cert with Mark and was freaking out that I wouldn't have a way to prepare my own food for 4 days.

Freaking out that I was going to gain weight. I planned for days ahead to make sure I took as much of my own food as I could, making a salad to eat on the plane and packing other foods that wouldn't spoil before I could get to some refrigeration. I was afraid of not getting enough fresh veggies and I didn't trust myself to not overeat the wrong foods. I knew we would be eating out, and up until that point I had not eaten out more than a few of times in couple of years.

Freaking out that all the hard work I had put into my training was going to disappear if I didn't get my workouts in. I actually took my last yoga class hours before my plane was sheduled to depart. Everyday I was at the cert I walked to and from the hotel and field, probably about 2 miles. I even missed part of Sunday morning in exchange for an hour long walk. I did manage to get one KB workout in at lunchtime, I think on Sat.

But now, just recently I've realized that I'm a big girl! I know when I'm eating too much food, whether it's good food or not. I know how much is enough. It's time for me to relax and listen to my body. I'm not going to starve, and I'm not going to let myself down by losing control, and making excuses for it. There's a whole world out there and I want to be part of it.

This year I'll have many opportunities to travel, unfortunately I chose not to go with Mark to Denmark, (he left yesterday), but I'm headed down south to Santa Barbara this morning, away from my comfort zone. I thought about taking loads of prepared food with me, and I will take some, but I'm not worried. And some of the things I will be doing is alot of cooking and KB's, but it might not always be that way.

There's so much in life to experience. And although I've come so far in the past few years, I feel as if the goodness in my life is coming at me faster and I have to be ready to go with it. I am ready. Ready to trust myself, ready to let the world in, and I'm not gonna let it pass me by.

18 comments:

Teresa said...

I learned the same valuable lesson a few years ago. I'd made great progress after I started weight training, but I'd trapped myself into believing I was dependent upon a certain routine, certain foods, a certain training style. Life's realities kicked in and there was no option of remaining within the comfort zone I'd created. And that was the lesson - one's comfort zone is as vast or as limiting as one's mind allows it to be. I now know that I can allow myself to deviate from my routing, and I can also get myself firmly back on routine. And there really isn't much harm done as long as I remain in control.

Santa Barbara sounds great. Enjoy yourself.

Christine said...

What a great post. It applies to every aspect of life, too! Not just weight loss and fitness! One aspect of my Dad's illness has made me try to live each day to it's fullest - as if it were my last! Life is full of opportunities and blessings.

-C

Diana said...

Tracy,
While all this sounds easy, why is so hard to let go of our comfort zones?!
Living with an autistic child makes life without a "comfort zone" very difficult. I grew up on routines and because of the "new routines" I've learned over this past year, I'm a healthier person. So it's hard to say. I know I'm somewhat trapped in my zone, but then again is that bad? Time will tell I guess!
Thanks for the great post-gets ya to think down to the soul!

Jen said...

Ahhh Tracy! We're gonna have such a good time! I'm so excited and honored to have you here in Santa Barbara. I TOTALLY understand the comfort zone thing...I'm the same way... I hope to make this as relaxing and comfortable for you as possible. I get to show you some cool walks a kick ass organic market and you have free reign over my humble kitchen!! YAY!! I'm so happy :) See you soon!!

xoxo Jen

Lisa said...

I live near Santa Barbara. :) Shoreline Park is a nice place. There are a lot of good hikes, but watch out for poison oak!

Jennifer said...

As with everything, life is a process. Do you understand that with this realization you are finally truly FREE from being a fat person? We have "talked" in the past about how people become imprisoned in their own bodies, a progression of that is the entrapment that they feel when they still live in fear of becoming that fat person again. The decisions that they make as a result of that fear bind them much as the weight did. Only until a person is able to understand that they must be able to live life even with its ups, downs, and unexpected turns and find a way to do that while maintaining their fitness are they truly free of the excess weight. Congratulations. I can't wait to be where you are!

Amy said...

Nice pic of you at the cert! I wish the weather had been that nice this April!! The only time we were outside was when we trained victims and did our grad workout.

Since returning home from the cert I have done any training, I've eaten too much chocolate, and I've had a drink or two. I woke up this morning and said "Enough is enough." Today I am back to my healthy ways. I feel bloated and miserable. I figure it's a good reminder of why I changed my eating habits. I will not dwell on the past week on my "health vacation."

Vacation's over!! Back to growing stronger! In a month I gotta be comfortable wearing my bikini.

LizLuvsCrochet said...

Great pictures, as usual!
I'm afraid I have major comfort zone issues, I have found myself being terrified of not having my prepared foods at work, or of running out of them before I end the work day. When my family wants me to go to brunch on sundays, I insist on knowing the restraunt in advance so I can look up and plan out what I may order. Am I losing my mind? :/

Tracy said...

teresa,

Mark reminds me that our consistent training is what prepares us for that "time off".

Thr stress created for a few days here or there is too great.

PS I'm still in SB, I'm staying an extra day!

Tracy said...

Christine,

It's got to be trippy thinking that everyday could be your last one, but it's something to think about.

I remember stopping for gas on a cold October day and looking up at a stromy sky thinking how dreadful it looked and how sad I was that summer was gone. Until I thought about the fact that, if I was lucky, I might see 40 more "Octobers" in my life. Wow, only about 40 more fall seasons in my life....if I was lucky!

It gave me a new appreciation for a stormy day.

Tracy said...

Diana,

I don't think it's such a bad thing...."routines". It gets the important, everday life stuff done. But there's more to life than the "everyday".

Tracy said...

Jen,

I've already told you how comfortable you have made my stay here, in your home, in Santa Barbara!

You were right about the "kick ass" market....Lazy Acres, and you guys make a great cup of coffee too!

Tracy said...

Lisa,

Jen just took me by Shoreline Park, next time I'll plan at least 1 more day...so much to do here, (I'm still here, lol).

And, lucky for me, a friend of mine recently showed me how to identify poison oak!

Tracy said...

jennifer,

I haven't been afraid of becoming fat again for quite a long time now, I know I'll never be fat again. It's more about losing this athlectic body that I dig having!

I've been thin many times in my life...not as many times as being fat, but I've never been as fit and healthy as I am now, and I like it!

But I do agree with you about experiencing a new level of freedom. Isn't it exciting!

Tracy said...

Amy,

Yes, April RKC last year had decent weather, but the next time I'm going to be there will be the end of June...muggy, wet? I don't know!

Chocolate and alcohol...can it be that bad, lol? At least it wasn't a "Chick-o-Stick" binge (candy)

A bikini? In a month? diet or no diet, KB training, or no KB training...my bikini days have been over for quite some time!

Tracy said...

Lizzie,

I feel for ya! I'll talk with you about this at work next week.

But don't worry, you are in the process of establishing new habits, and it's a good thing. We practice control in the best of situations, so we can deal with the worst situations.

You're fine! And you've done such a great job, everytime I look at you when you walk by me at work I think, "Damn, look how good Lizzie looks, I want to stay looking good too!" (I wish I were as pretty as you, lol) So thanks for the motivation.

Amy said...

Chick-o-Stick!! The thought made me shutter. I haven't had one of those since I was a kid. I was diggin the chocolate Skittles this week. I'm over it though!

Luckily I only wear the bikini around my family and very close friends. I don't want to freak out complete strangers!

End of June in MN - HOT, HUMID, air so thick it's hard to breathe. That is why I chose the April cert date. Humidity = sweaty hands = torn up hands.

leslie said...

Awesome writing, and something I can certainly use. As someone once said, "You've come a long way, baby!"