Monday, May 7, 2007

Sharing is Caring

I never claim to "know it all". I'm trying to figure out what works for me, and if it helps anyone else, great! Blogging has given me more than I ever bargained for. I didn't know exactly what it had to offer me and I still don't think I know its' potential, and I'm grateful to all who contribute to my process by just watching and reading, but especially to those who take the time to offer their own opinions and experiences by commenting.

This last weekend's "cheat day" potentially brought about a couple of changes that I'm really excited about. Two examples of ideas left by comment that helped me out a great deal this last weekend were;

Lauren Brooks' idea on "hour to devour".

Leslie Gandys' comment about still eating your good healthy food even after a junk food binge.

I think both comments were left after my post "Boring Diet Advice".

Anyway, after the start of my "cheat day" on Saturday I found myself realizing that most of my binge only lasts about an hour because when I start to eat my cheat foods, almost always cookies, candy and ice cream (sugar is a drug for me), I eventually get, literally, sick from the sugar within an hour because it's just too much, I also feel wired and that's the part that I like! The problem is that after I start to feel better I go for it again! Because I've given myself free license to do so all day!

So I usually have 2-3 mini binges of sugary foods spread out for 4-6 hours, and that's a problem. It's a problem because it leaves me feeling crappy, and not mentally satisfied. I just keep adding insult to injury by eating that way. My "all or nothing" attitude takes over (the ALL part!) and I try and stuff as much crap into that one day that I can.

So after my first binge of the day (12 noon) I asked myself "how much do you need?", and realized that I didn't really need anymore. I realized, as I was eating every one of the dozen chocolate chip, oatmeal, walnut cookies (I bought at a bake sale), just how lucky I was to be able to enjoy every single one of these awesome homemade cookies. I ate them slowly, bite by bite and tried to appreciate every second of it. And I did. And I didn't feel guilty about it. I had alloted myself those 12 cookies and when they were gone, they were gone.

The problem was later in the day! After I got home and started cooking my dinner meal, I remembered some ice cream in the freezer and thought, "you better eat it now or it'll be too late, after all it is your cheat day, you can have whatever you want, but it has to be all today". And as I reached into a cabinet to get the toasted coconut to top off my ice cream I came across some candy that I had hidden from myself, and I went for that too :(. And then, after I ate those things, I thought "Did you really need to do that? Why couldn't you just be grateful for the dozen stinkin' cookies you ate earlier? Just how much do you really need?"

And that's when I remembered Lauren's idea of "hour to devour". I realized that instead of the whole day I really just needed one hour. And it's up to me when that hour is. An hour is enough. If it's early, then I can't allow myself to go for it again later. If it's late, then I just have to save it until that later time. But it'll only be for one hour. Let's see how it goes!

So after the ice cream and candy, which I was eating as I was preparing good food for my dinner, I spoiled my appetite. But I remembered Leslie's comment about still eating your good food after "blowing it" with crap. So I still ate my dinner, with plenty of protein (beef) and I felt so much better! I felt better because the good food had started to dilute the sugar rush and I felt like I had also done something good for my body. It also helped my mood.

Thank you, thank you, thank you to Lauren and Leslie.

Saturday AM weight 127.8
6:30am KB heavy swings
7:30pm 50 min. walk

Menu (high calorie day)

coffee/cream
apple
espresso/cream
cookies (about 1350 cal.)
ice cream (400 cal.)
candy (350 cal.)
veg stew w/beef (lots of beef!)

Total calories around 3500

Sunday AM weight 128.8
6:30pm 50 min walk

Menu

4:30am coffee w/cream 45 cal
9:00 apple 120 cal
10:00 prunes/almonds 200 cal.
12:00 apple 120 cal.
1:30 grapes 240 cal.
3:00 oats/milk 200 cal.
5:30 chili pepper stew w/beef 350 cal.

Total calories 1275

For some reason I felt hungry early on Sunday. I don't usually get hungry, especially after a cheat day, that early. I was at the Flea and had taken a couple of apples and some prunes/ almonds with me. It could be the fact that I can't drink anymore coffee once I'm there (at the Flea) because I don't always have an opportunity to go to the restroom. So the amount of caffeine and fat is less than normal, but still that doesn't usually affect me in that way, oh well.

4 comments:

Lauren said...

Tracy,

I'm so glad I could help. That is great that you tried something new. I look forward to hearing how it goes again.

Best,

Lauren

leslie said...

Yesterday was a not-so-good, very-bad day in terms of eating and emotions. (Could there BE a connection???) Your post comes at a perfect time, both from the model you present, and from how encouraging it feels to hear that something I wrote helped.

Cheering you on from Placer County...

leslie said...

I'm trying to email you, but it won't go through. Can you send one to me, please?

Thx!

Tracy said...

Lauren and Leslie, Thanks again for the suggestions and comments, I'm sure it helped more than just me!