Monday, February 5, 2007


After reflecting on my last post, (sorry to get all emotional!) I thought about a few more things related to my feelings about food. I had been thinking along the lines of the loving, comforting feelings and not the painful feelings. It reminds about the fine line between love and hate.

Since hurting my shoulder Mark's been trying to get me to let him work on it (my shoulder). I have been resisting because it hurts when he works on it. I finally asked him, "how can so much pain be helpful?". And his reply was,"I'm not putting pain in, I'm taking pain out!" Wow! Now it's starting to make sense!

When I eat, I thought it made me feel love, comfort, acceptance, etc., but I also feel as if I'm taking the pain (the emotional pain) away. When in fact I create more pain and that's what I'm left with.

I don't come from a "huggy" family. My family never hugs eachother or when we do (when it's forced upon us) it's obviously uncomfortable. Mark comes from a very "huggy" family, and one of the gifts he has given me is to turn me into a "huggy person". I love to hug! Sometimes I need to hug! But it doesnt always come naturally.

Hugs can be nothing more than a way to greet someone openly. But more recently, I've seen that hugs can also be a way to release pain. A co-worker of mine was having an emotional moment when she experienced a hard time on her diet. Since I could be completely sympathetic I reached out to her and gave her a big hug. A long, tight hug. I really wanted to help her release some of her pain I knew she was feeling.

Is that what we look for when we need a hug? A way to release our pain. Do we use food to feel as if we are releasing our pain? Just a thought.

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