Strength is Tension

Mark giving a lecture on "strength is tension". Brilliant as usual, it actually inspired me to want to press heavy!
Karen and Fawn (Karen, standing, Fawn, on hands) practicing a drill on tension. Karen and Fawn are 2 amazingly strong women on my team.

Mark and Pavel talking.

I've got more pics, but not enough time to post. Since I am an assistant, and not official picture taker, it's not that easy to get alot of pics. But today is the last day and I'm going to try and take advantage of it.

Lunchtime Workout

Warm up
40 2 hand swings w/26, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 3 sets= 6 min.
40 2 hand swings w/36, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.
Total warm up 10 min.

Work sets

10 double clean, dbl push press w/ 2, 26's 45 sec. on 45 sec. rest x 10 sets
100 double clean, double press, 7.5 min. total

10 2 hand swing w/ 36, 15 sec. on, 15 sec. rest
20 2 hand swing w/36, 30 sec. on, 30 sec. rest
30 2 hand swing w/36, 45 sec. on, 45 sec. rest
40 2 hand swing w/36, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest

Total 100 swings per rotation = 4 min. x 4 sets = 16 min., 400 2 hand swings

Total workout 33.5 min.


We only had 45 min. for lunch, so I pulled together this quick workout. I had also walked to the cert from the hotel in the morning, but that won't save me from the damage I did at dinner, and dessert! I don't think I'll be weighing myself for a week after I get home. I'm not kidding!

Dave Whitley doing the 2 hands anyhow w/bulldogs. (I'm in the background)

Slight Panic

I'm going through serious workout withdrawl. Combine that with moments of food "panic" and things are a little shaky right now. I'm having a great time, but not being able to control my workouts (or lack of) and food exactly, is messing with me, just a little.

I was able to walk back to the hotel, instead of taking the shuttle (about 2 miles) last night, and I did get to participate in Geoff Neuperts' drill for 10 min., so not all is bad. I plan to test the 10 min. snatch this morning, and get a workout in at lunch time.

Geoff's Drill
2 hand swings , I used the 20kg, 16kg, 12kg (he had the women use 16,12,8). All sets done in "I go, you go" fashion.

#1 set, 10 w/20kg, 15 w/16kg, 20 w/12kg (45 reps)
#2 set 15 w/20kg, 20w/16kg, 25 w/12kg (60 reps)
#3set 20 w/20kg, 25 w/16kg, 30 w/12kg (75reps)

I'm actually surprised about how much I depend on my scale. This is very uncomfortable. I fantasized about putting it in my suitcase next time I go on a trip!

I had my usual coffee w/cream in the morning and didn't eat until lunch (time ?), even though I wasn't really hungry. I took snacks with me, but only ate about 3 prunes and and apple until I got back to the hotel at 7:45.

Room service didn't pick up the stinkin' phone, so I had to walk down to the resturant, but before I did that I stopped by the "hospitality room" (we are staying in the room next to it) and guess what? Free snacks! Even though I had plenty in my own room, I had to take the free food! At least I resisted the huge bowl of peanut M&M's, but the almonds were still there and some trail mix with fruits/nuts and coconut, which I helped myself to, because at this point I'm panicked and I know by the time I order my dinner, and get it, it'll be 9:00.

I was already in my PJ's, so I had to get dressed again, and the menu of food sucked, so I knew I wasn't even going to get to eat anything good. At this time I turn into a total bitch, and get cranky and that just feeds on itself. Long story, short, today's a new day, the extra calories consumed with come in handy for my workout today, I've got a great cup of coffee right now and life is good.

I promise my next post will be filled with positivity! Of course Mark reminds me that these situations are part of what and why you 'train".

More Pics from the Cert

Trying to get some sun on my feet, but I wore a jacket all day to keep it off of my chest andarms! (I need to crop this photo, but I don't know how!) The weather is perfect and I had an incredibly good "hair day"

Finally, some attention from my husband!

I took these 2 photos mainly to show what kettlebell training can do for a womans arms! I'm not the only one with great guns!
Part of my team, the first 2 gentlemen are assistant Mark Toomey and team leader Geoff Neupert.

More update coming soon. Right now Mark just left to go to dinner with Pavel and the other Seniors/Team Leaders, and I chose to stay in and order room service.

I just looked at the room service menu, yuck!!

Greetings from the Cert

Naina, Tracy, Pavel Doug, Tracy, Kori
Mark w/friends Mark Toomey and I are assisants on the same team, Team Neupert.

Arrived safe and sound in Minnestoa just in time to check in and go to the "Meet and Greet". I'm getting really excited to get started in the morning, everyone is so motivated to learn and improve their training with Kettlebells.

I met many people that were familiar with me because of this blog, that's fun! Naina (rhymes with banana!) came up to me so excited about the weekend and what KB's have done for her and her training, she said to me,"I saw your name tag from across the room and I and to introduce myself! I've been on your blog!"

Thurs. AM weight 127.2 (perfect)
6:30 Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee w/cream 85 cal.
oats/milk/sugar 240 cal.
lg. apple/celery/chicken salad w/blue cheese and walnut dressing 600 cal.
broccoli and tuna salad w/grapes 600 cal.
stinkin' free food at the "meet and greet"
melon, strawberries, pineapple 100 cal.
roasted almonds w/olive dip 450 cal.

Total calories 2100?

Man, I can hardly pass up free food. I tried, really, I thought I tried. But there were these huge bowls of salted roasted almonds just sitting there, free for the taking! And then I spotted the olive dip and thought, mmm, I'll scoop the nuts in the dip! I suck. Not really. But the blog police are out in full force. If anyone sees me eating they want to know, "Are you going to write that down on your blog?". Of course I will.

On a more positive note, I was overjoyed to see not only a mini-fridge, but also a microwave!!

Life is good in Minnesota. More pictures tomorrow. Snatch test in the morning!

Last Workout before the Cert.

7:00am KB

Warm up

40 2 hand swings w/26 x 3 sets, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest = 6 min.

Work sets / All sets, 30 sec. on, 30 secs. rest

#1 20 2 hand swings w/36
#2 20 transfers w/36
#3 20 2 hand swings w/44
#4 20 2 hand swings w/53

I alternated these 4 sets x 8 rotations. All 4 sets took 4 min. to complete x 8 = 32 min.

15/15/15/15. bottoms up cleans, 2 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 5 min.

Total workout 43 min.

I had a hard time only training for about 40 min., but I want to test the 10 min. snatch this weekend and didn't want to overdo today's WO. I chose to do heavier weights today, but short sets and short rests.

Tuesday Am weight 127.8
8:00am 40 min. walk
7:00pm Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee w/cream 70 cal.
11:30 oats/milk/sugar 240 cal.
2:30 lg veg soup w/squash and chicken (4oz) 450 cal.
4:30 strong decaf coffee w/whipped cream 100 cal.
5:00 yogurt w/sliced almond 230 cal.
9:15 leftover pasta w/sausage and broccoli 300 cal.

Total calories 1390

7:00pm Bikram yoga is brutal! Having to stop eating ideally by 4:00 is pratically impossible. And I can't believe I was eating as late as 9:15pm, but I didn't get home from class until 9:00 and I hadn't eaten enough during the day. I still didn't eat enough. Sweating right before I went to bed reflected a low body weight in the morning.

I can't believe that at the first part of last year (Jan-March 06) I went to Bikram yoga everyday and sometimes twice a day (2 calsses in a row!), crazy! I can barely seem to make it to class 3 x a week. But since yoga is not an option I had to go at 7 pm to fit it into my schedule.

Wednesday AM weight 126.0
7:00am KB 43 min.

Menu

coffee w/cream 85 cal.
10:45 oats/milk/sugar 230 cal.
11:00 prunes/PNB 150 cal.
2:30 lg spinach, tomato, asparagus and chicken salad w/anchovy dressing 500 cal.
4:00 espresso w/whipped cream 100 cal.
5:30 veg soup w/leftover pasta and sausage 400 cal.

Total calories 1465

I had a really tight schedule today and ate exactly at these times between appts. I can't believe my calories were this low, I had to of forgotten something??? Oh well, the scale will tell me tomorrow.

Lots to do still before our trip, still hoping to make it to one last yoga class in the morning at 6:30am!

The weekend starts on Thursday this week! Life is good.

My Body, a Science Experiment

Part of calming the emotional charge around food has changed my focus about my weight and body to more of a scientific approach. I am confident about my ability to change the numbers on the scale, if I want to, more than ever. The scale provides data. Not judgement. Not self worth. Not failure. Just a number.

I always tell people that when you weigh yourself, and you weigh more than yesterday, you ate too much, and if you weigh less than yesterday, you ate less. Adjust it accordingly. I know easier said than done, especially when you have so much emotion driving hunger, or what you perceive as hunger. So how do you calm the emotional charge?

I don't know the answer for everyone, but I do suspect that everyone that finds themselves out of control with food has anxiety at that moment. For me my "all or nothing" attitude takes over and in my mind I've already lost control, so I keep going with the attitude that if I can't be perfect (on my diet) then I'm going to completely blow it. That type of thinking feeds (no pun intended) the anxiety, not calms it.

So, for me, calming the anxiety is key to being able to make reasonable, rational desicions about food. Some of the mind games I use are questions I ask myself like;

"Is it going to kill you not to have that piece of candy (or cookie or whatever)?"
"Are you going to die while waiting 15 minutes to make a salad?"
"Do you really need to eat 5 prunes or do you just need something in your mouth and 1 will do?"
"What if you were having surgery at 2:00pm and you couldn't eat?"
"You could probably live off your fat for a couple of days!"
"What if chocolate was never invented?"
"Is this (food) going to make your life better? I mean really, will your life be better? And you do want to make your life better, don't you?"

There is probably not one day that goes by when I don't ask myself one of these questions, or something similar. And everytime I put things in perspective this way, it gets easier to keep things in perspective.

So now I'm calm, and I see a number on the scale I don't like, now what? Since the number is just data, I have to compare it to the other data in my training/food journal. What were my workouts the previous day and what time of day did I workout? What did I eat that was different and when (again what time of day)? How much did I eat (volume as well as calories, a pound of salad does weigh a pound!)? Was I "regular" that day or the day before (yes, did I poop? LOL)? Etc.. The answers to these types of questions is the data you need to make different desicions or choices, if you want.

I know it's not easy, it's taken me 2 years to get to this point. But being able to see this type of progress, scientifically, adds to my calm. I never thought that my body would turn into a science experiment!

36lb Snatches

Monday 7:30am KB

Warm up w/26

40 2 hand swings x 2 sets
40 transfers x 2 sets
20 1 swing, 1 transfer x 2 sets

All warm up sets were 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 6 sets total time 12 min.

Work sets

16 snatch, transfer 1 min. on, 1 min, rest,
1 set w/26, 1 set w/36, 2 sets = 4 min.

8 snatch L, 8 snatch R w/36, 45 sec. on 1.25 min. rest.
2 min. total each set.

13 sets = 26 min., 208 snatches total.

20 swings L, 20 swings R w/36, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest
x 5 sets = 10 min.

Total workout 52 min.

Travel Strategy

I'm getting ready this week to be away from home, away from my kitchen, for 4 days. I don't like that. I like eating my own food, I prefer making and preparing it myself. I'm never tempted to buy already made food. I'm so used to eating large quantities and varieties of vegetables, and that's hard to find at most eateries in hotels/airports. So it's time to think of some travel strategies.

With the new restrictions on flights these days, I can't bring my food on board the airplane. I would usually prepare at least 2 days worth of food in a cooler at just bring it with me. That way at least 1/2 the time I could eat the way I like. The hotel room, I think, does not have a fridge, so that makes it a little more difficult. Last year I took a couple of days worth of food and kept changing the ice in the cooler (ice is free!).

So I'll find out exactly what the restrictions are so I can at least bring my own food the first day. I can always pack my own "snacks" for the long weekend. Apples, dried figs/prunes, plenty of almonds and I'll bring some psyllium.

Warrior dieting is perfect for this type of situation. Fasting the first part of the day and eating the bulk of foods in the last half of the day. Last year I actually lost weight on this trip. I'm not afraid of gaining weight, I just like my own routine and eating what I like to eat.

Sunday AM weight 127.8 (I know there will be a delayed reaction to Sat. late eating)
2:30 5 mile walk, 1 hr. 15 min.

Menu

coffee/cream 70 cal.
steel cut oats/milk/1tsp. sugar/2 tbl. sliced almonds 300 cal.
veg stew w/fennel and 3oz. chicken 350 cal.
polenta 275 cal. (made with water and 1/2 &1/2!)
prunes (5) 100 cal.
spinach/tomato/asparagus salad w/garlic anchovy dressing, 3 oz. chicken 450 cal.
chocolate sucker 70 cal.

Total calories 1610

I made the most incredible polenta, that's what took me over the top with my calories! It would normally be a low calorie day after Sat., but my weight is where I want it. And I plan to do a snatch w/36 workout Mon. morning.

I managed my weight exactly the way I wanted to last week and I feel relaxed and at peace with the decision not to starve myself down to the 125-6's. I am vain enough to admit I just look better not so thin.

S 128.8
M 128.2
T 128.0
W 128.0
T 127.6
F 127.0
S 126.2

Another lovely week in my good life.

Two handed lateral swings with 16 kg.

This workout was powered by an apple fritter!

Saturday

7:00 2.5 mile walk
8:00 Bikram yoga
1:00 KB 60 min. 1200 reps

Warm up

40 2 hand swings w/26 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min. 200 swings

Work sets w/36

#1
10 2 hand swings, 20 lateral 2 hand swings, 10 2 hand swings, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest (video shows this set @5th rotation) 40 reps per set

#2
10 2 hand swings, 20 lateral transfers, 10 2 hand swings, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest 40 reps per set

I alternated these 2 sets 10 x each, for a total of 20 sets = 40 min., 800 reps

10 L, 10 R, 10 L, 1o R, 1 hand swings w/36, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min., 200 reps

Total workout time 60 min., 1200 reps

It always amazes me that I can get the motivation to start my training in the afternoon, because I don't want to do it! Especially after walking (in support with a friend) and Bikram yoga!

Saturday AM weight 126.2 (a little low, time to eat up!)

Menu (high calorie day)

cookies
apple fritter
candy
broccoli/red cabbage/carrot/apple salad w/PNB/yogurt/honey dressing
organic almond chocolate clusters (made by Gayle)
Misc. cheese/crackers/appetizers
champagne
salad w/balsamic, walnut dressing
4 hot yummy dinner rolls w/ lots of butter

Total calories ?????

I had a wedding to attend, it was beautiful by the way, so I knew I was going to drink and eat late. Most of my junk pig out was actually before the reception, between 11:30 - 3:00. I had a large broccoli salad to make sure I got some kind of raw veggies in my body.

The drinking made me not care how much I was eating, thank God I don't drink, but after 4 dinner rolls slathered w/butter, I didn't even eat my entree (salmon, mashed potato/veggies)or cake! Drank and danced the night away, slept incredibly well, an awesome evening.

The weekend couldn't possibly get any better at this point. Life is good.

Lost (misplaced) Workout

I can't find the hard copy of my Thursday clean and press workout, when I do I'll post it.

Thursday AM weight 127.4
9:00am KB cleans, presses 60 min.
3:30 Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee w/cream, cocoa 140 cal.
12:00 veg soup w/black beans, squash and chicken 400 cal.
1:30 steel cut oats w/milk 185 cal.
prunes 50 cal.
6:00 salad w/grilled asparagus, tomato and spinach w/anchovy dressing 350 cal
grilled salmon 300 cal.
peanuts/PNB 400 cal.

Total calories 1825

I smelled peanut butter on Mark's breath and it triggered the memory of some shelled/salted peanuts I had put away from the weekend. Once I started I finally forced myself to stop about the time I reminded myself that I was probably 400 calories into it. It was a small miracle I walked away, I threw the rest out. Part of the problem was that my calories were too low at that point, and I was trying to not eat anymore the rest of the night. But I was a little hungry and after the first peanut, well, you know.

Friday AM weight 127.0
6:30 Vinyasa yoga
9:00am 1 mile walk/400 swings with Heather

Menu

4:30-6:00 coffee w/cream 40 cal.
10:00 espresso w/whipped cream 100 cal.
11:30 oats/milk/sugar 200 cal.
1:15 yogurt w/almonds 250 cal.
3:45 chili pepper soup w/black beans and grilled salmon (5.5oz) 550 cal.
7:00 broccoli salad w/grapes and tuna salad 530 cal.
2 candies 80 cal.

Total calories 1750

Again I didn't get to dinner until after my last appt.. I could've slammed it down inbetween appts. (5:45-5:55), but I wanted to eat and enjoy my last meal slowly!

Life is great. The weekend is going to be great!

500 Swings

7:30am KB

Warm up

1 set 40 2 hand swings w/26, 1 min. on, 1 min rest

Work sets

50 2 hand swings w /36., 1.25 min. on 45 sec. rest

Total of 2 min. each set x 10 = 500 2 hand swings in 20 min.

Only 45 sec. rest was a great challenge. My grip got tired the last 10 (out of 50) reps of each set. I can't believe I did 100 rep sets of this same exercise a few weeks ago! I love KB's

Wednesday AM weight 128.0

4:30-6:30 coffee w/cream 70 cal.
8:45 coffee w/cocoa 70 cal.
11:00 steel cut oats/milk 185 cal.
1:20 cabbage salad w/ curry dressing, pineapple and pork 560 cal.
3:30 yogurt/sliced raw almond (2tbl.) 250 cal.
7:30 chili pepper soup w/spaghetti squash/black beans/wild prawns (4 lg) 510 cal.
Misc. 5 prunes throughout the day 100 cal.

Total cal. 1745

I don't like eating after 6:00pm, but I was running behind with appts. at work most of the day and couldn't eat dinner until after my last client. Also, I don't like stretching all of my meals quite so far apart. I prefer to eat all of my food within the same 5-7 hours Wenesday I started a 11 and finished after 7:30, that's 8.5 hours.

Baby Steps

Well, my weight has consistently been 128.0 for the past 2 weeks (average). What happened to the 127's? I seemed to have skipped them. The weeks before it was in the 125-126 range. I do have to admit that I look better at this weight but mentally I need the 127's.

I have increased my calories but, excluding my Sat. cheat day, my food has been, in my opnion, very nutritious and clean. I feel like I'm still paying for those 2 quarts of ice cream. Man, I hope I learned my lesson with that one.

To be honest, I'm fighting the feeling of starving myself back down. I know I can do that. I know I can drop 1.5-2.0 lbs (scale weight) in a day, but that's not physically smart. And it doesn't reflect a healthy, permanent change. I know that.

Well, I'll shoot for 127.8 tomorrow! Not 126.0! I'm fine, the weight has been on the down trend since Sunday, it's fine. I'll go out (to the garage gym) and do 500 two hand swings w/36 before work this morning, that'll make me feel strong. Strong. 128.0 is fine. (baby steps!)

Tuesday AM weight 128.0
11:30 KB swings w/Gayle (fun!)
7:00pm 45 min. walk

Menu

4:30-9:30am coffee w/cream 70 cal.
8:30am I snacked on roasted fingerling potatoes/shallots/garlic 80 cal.
1:30 lowfat yogurt w/granola and maple syrup 230 cal.
2:30 veg soup w/butternut squash and chicken (4oz) 400 cal.
2:45 more roasted potatoes 170 cal.
4:00 dried figs/prunes/almonds 200 cal.
6:00 broccoli salad w/grapes and tuna 450 cal.
8:30 chocolate sucker 70 cal.

Total calories 1670

O.K. now I see it! When I roast veggies, as soon as they come out of the oven, they're irresistible! I rarely cook potatoes much less eat them. Why? Because they make me hold water, feel and weigh heavy and make me feel like crap. Bingo, that's where I went wrong yesterday. I didn't see it, and actually forgot about it, until I did my journal this morning. I feel better now. Mystery solved!

I'm planning on swinging 10 sets of 50 reps this morning after a quick warm up. It should take me less than 25 min. (2 hand swings w/ 36)

Fighting "The Fight"

The first time I became aware of how this phrase related to my life was about a year and a half ago (2 years?) when Kirstie Alley was on the Oprah show. It was the first time she had been a guest since losing, supposedly, about 75 lbs.. ( I think it was more 90, because I think she lied about only weighing 213 originally. That woman was at least 245 if she was a pound! And it looks as if she has gained a portion of that back)

Oprah showed her a "before" picture of herself and asked her how she felt when she saw pictures like that. Her response was, "OH MY GOD, I WAS SOOOO DISGUSTING!!" And she went on, and on, and on, and on about how disgusting she had been. I was appalled at her response.

Even though I had already lost my weight, I could still indentify with people that hadn't yet. All I could think of was all of the people in the audience (in person and viewers) that were overweight hearing her go on an on about how disgusting she thought she was. Did that make them disgusting? That was what I felt she was implying. She wouldn't shut her mouth about it, even Oprah started to get uncomfortable. Since then I have ceased to be a fan of hers (Ms. Alley).

When talking about that show the next day at work, I was explaining how mortified I was at her response and said, "Doesn't she know that there are people still out here fighting the fight?"
And that included me.

I never once felt that way about myself. That I was disgusting. Yes I was fat, and I wasn't as attractive as I could be, but that was such a small part of who I was. My "fatness" was a reflection of my emotional struggles with food, not a reflection of my heart and soul, my intelligence or talents. When I see people overweight, I never think that they are disgusting, they're just eating too much of the wrong foods and probably not exercising and they haven't come to the point of wanting to something about it yet. That's it.

Anyone who feels that they need to lose weight, wishes that they could lose weight, fights those feelings everyday. Everytime they chose to not do something about it, it's a fight. A fight because they know, they know better. But they don't feel like they can do anything about it, or they want to do anything about it. For whatever reason a person is overweight it doesn't mean that they are disgusting. (That's the reason I don't like using the word "disgusting" when talking about weight or food issues)

So here I am now, I've lost the weight. My weight is controllable, scientifically. My feelings about food are less controllable. Sometimes my fight isn't about losing weight, it's about my feelings regarding my weight, for instance now I have to come to terms with not losing any more weight. It's a fight. Most of the time I win. And I get stronger. I'm proud to be a "fighter".

Like me, many still are "fighting the fight". Whatever that fight is about, have compassion, not judgement.

Two snatch transfers

One half of set #2

7:30am KB snatch combinations

Warm up

40 2 hand swings w/26, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min.
40 transfers w/26, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 1 set = 2 min.
40 two hand swings w/36, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 1 set = 2 min.

Total warm up 14 min.

Work sets

#1 40 transfers w/ 36, 1 min. on 1 min. rest

#2 16, snatch, snatch, negative press, transfer w/26, 2 min. on 1 min. rest
(video demonstrates 1/2 of this set)

#3 8 snatch, snatch, neg press, transfer w/36, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest

I alternated these 3 sets 5 times. It took 7 min. to complete 1 rotation, x 5 sets = 35 min. total

40 transfers w/36, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.

40 2 hand swings w/36, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.

Total workout 57 min.

Last week I snatched the 36 using a negative press to lower the weight. The week before that, I snathed the 36 using a traditional downswing of the weight, so I combined the 2 techniques today. The first snatch had a down swing and the second a negative press.

Monday AM weight 128.2
7:30 am KB
5:15 pm Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee w/cream 70 cal.
2 prunes 40 cal.
oats/milk, 1 tsp. sugar, 200 cal.
lg chili pepper soup w/black beans, 6 oz chicken, spaghetti squash 520 cal.
decaf espresso w/cream 70 cal.
lowfat maple yogurt w/2tbl. slices raw almonds 230 cal.
lg broccoli salad w/ grapes and low cal dressing 300 cal.
tuna/mayo 250 cal.

Total calories 1680

Personality Flaws

One of the comments left for me about my last post inspired me to reflect a little more about my mood lately. My mood about food. And that was the suggestion of perfectionism. And of course when I read that, my first response was "perfect"! It hit the spot. (thanks oge!)

I was just telling Mark that I've come to the point of facing some of my personality flaws. At the time of our conversation I was thinking of only two. "Instant gratificaton", and "all or nothing" (black or white). I forgot about "perfectionism". These "flaws" affect my life in both postive and negative ways.

I've been enjoying mostly the positive. My weight loss was fairly quick, because I had to do it NOW. I couldn't wait. And it was easy for me to change the way I eat, because it had to change COMEPLETELY or not at all! And now here I am with the pressure I put on myself to be PERFECT. The "perfect" weight, the numbers on the scale.

Bingeing brings all of these attitudes together in a dangerous combination,

When I chose to give into a binge, or when I feel like I cannot control a binge my attitude that I need to do it or have it (the binge) NOW. And if I'm going to eat ice cream, I need to eat it ALL, and more, because I can't eat ANY later. And since I'm not being PERFECT, I'm going to be the complete opposite and be perfectly imperfect!. All the way!

Well, I guess the only way it makes sense for me to transition into changing attitudes is by taking "baby steps". In other words making changes by staying aware of the extreme emotions associated with thinking this way and work towards breaking them down a little at a time. Because of course when I think of changing my attitudes my first feelings are, "fine, I'll show them! I'll change my attitude now, today, and completely, I'll show them I can be perfect!"

Maybe a little dessert everyday is a way to take a "baby step" (I was going to say the perfect challenge!)

Life is freakin good, have a little dessert!

Wednesday AM weight 127.4
7:00am 45 min. walk
Total calories 1775

Thursday AM weight 126.8
6:30 Bikram yoga
10:00 KB
Total calories 1745

Friday AM weight 128.8 (???)
9:00am 1 mile walk and 20min. KB w/client
Total calories 1585

Saturday AM weight 127.0
7:00am 2.5 mile walk
8:00am Bikram yoga
11:00 KB
high calorie day 2800?

Sunday AM weight 128.8
6:30pm 60 min. walk
low calorie day 1335 ( would've been lower, but the stinkin b-day cake was still around, damn it!)

My moods have been like my weight, up and down all week. My food was basically the same as usual, but because of my funky moods I got behind on posting my menus.

Dried figs/prunes/almonds have been a favorite snack these days along with yogurt w/2tbl. sliced raw almonds. I tried to really up my protein by eating bigger servings (6-8oz) of chicken, fish and beef.

This week I need to continue to eat nutritiously and get my weight consistant. Not any particular number, but consistant.

My weekend started shaky but ended awesomely.

I'm Only Human

I didn't get to my workout on Sat. until 12 noon. I hate not training first thing in the morning. As much as I love the results I get from my KB workouts, I really have to psyche myself up for the afternoon times, because I find myself stalling. Anyone who thinks that it's easy for me needs to know that unless I workout first thing, it's tempting to skip and start all over the next day. But I know that would make me feel like crap, so I force myself to just go out to the gym and start.

Once I do my first warm up set of 2 handed swings, I know the rest will follow. That's all I need to jump start the following 45-55 min..

I managed to have a mild cheat day. By that I mean I only ate lots of birthday cake, no ice cream, and a big bowl of soup with lots of chicken and cottage cheese. I failed to mention last week that I ate 1.75 quart container of ice cream. Yes, that's almost 2 quarts! It's taken me a week to confess. I felt like sh#! about it so much that I think I actually was so disgusted with myself that I have to re-evaluate my attitude about bingeing. I hate using the word disgusted or disgusting. Who decides what or who is disgusting?

Bingeing sucks! I hate it. I freakin hate it. But I don't hate it enough I guess. But I'm getting close. Sometimes I just don't get it. All the self reasoning in the world is not enough to be able to resist sometimes. Why do I have to hide food from myself? Why does it seem to have this power over me? It's crazy. It's ridiculous.

Mark said to me today that I need to learn to eat dessert. By that he means a little "something" everyday, instead of an all out binge once a week. I just said "yeah right, easy for you to say".

Today was a rainy day, I wonder if that's what got me in this funk. All week I was lovin life. And I still do, but with the highs come some lows, after all I'm only human.

Maybe it's because my baby turned 18 today.

(I think it's the sugar crash)

Life is good.

Saturday workout

Set #'s 2 & 4 Two hand swings w/26, deep and high




Set # 1 double swings w/2 26's

12 noon KB

Warm up

40 2 hand swings, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

Work sets

#1 18 double swings w/26's, 30 sec. on, 30 sec. rest

#2 18 2 hand swings w/26, deep and high, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest

#3 8 double clean, double push press, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest

#4 18 2 hand swings w/26, deep and high, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest (same as #2)

I alternated these 4 sets for 5 rotations. All 4 sets took 4 min. to cmplete x 5 = 20 min.

#5 40 2 hand swings w/36, 1 min. on 1 min. rest

#6 8 double clean, double push press, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest

I alternated these 2 sets x 5 rotations = 15 min.

#7 1 swing, 1 bottoms up clean, 8 L, 8 R, 8 L, 8 R, 2 min. on 1 min. rest x 3 sets = 9 min.

Total workout 54 min.

We taped set #3, but I didn't think it looked good! Sorry.

It's All Easy, til It's Heavy (clean, press workout)

This is one of Mark's infamous tag lines! It's all easy, til it's heavy! Man, did I learn this the hard way! I have been so wiped out from my triple workout last weekend that I haven't even had the energy to blog, much less tape video for my blog.

I went into my press workout yesterday with the intention of doing double presses as part of it, yeah right! Not going to happen. I explained to Mark that I wasn't feeling weak, I just didn't have any gas. I managed to have a decent workout, but I definitely felt the effects of training with heavier weights.

Since I wasn't feeling the double presses, I chose to work on my military presses w/26. These went well, but because its a slower movement, I didn't feel the "cardio" effect my training usually has.

I'll throw some double presses into my Sat. workout along with some double swings. I think I'll be recovered by then!!

9:30am KB clean, press

Warm up w/12kg

40 2 hand swings, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

Work sets

20 swing, transfers (40 reps) 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

16 swing, clean, press, transfer (8 each side), 2 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 15 min.

I started the first 3 sets with push presses and then switched to a strict military press for the last 2 sets. Because the pace od clean, presses are slower I kept these sets at 2 minutes.

6 clean, military press L, trans., 6 clean, mil. press R, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

15/15 bottoms up cleans, 1.5 min. on 1 min. rest x 3 sets = 7.5 min.

Total workout 52.5 min.

Thursday Am weight 126.4
6:30am Bikram yoga
9:30 KB
2:00 2.5 mile walk

Menu

coffee w/cream 70 cal.
dried prunes and figs 150 cal.
chili pepper soup w/butternut squash and chicken 450 cal.
whole wheat pasta w/braised fennel,onion, olives and italian suasage 400 cal.
prunes w/PNB 150 cal.
apple 100 cal.
lg broccoli salad w/grapes and tuna 425 cal.

Total calories 1745

The last 2 days I've eaten my first food before 9:00am. I just been hungry. Even though my calories were within my range and I did alot of exercise yesterday, my weight was up this morning. I know that damn whole wheat pasta was going to bite me in the ass! Oh well, today is a new day.

I ordered Gabe's B-day cake yesterday (see, I'm still thinking of it). My plan is to give some of it to the neighbors, just to get it out of the house. Mentally I'm thinking of having a mild cheat day. We'll see.

Now I'm Cooking!

For the first time in a long time I did not train KB's for 2 days straight. After Mondays workout I literally "cooked" my shoulders and arms! I could barely lift my arms in yoga. Those 16kg snatches ( in addition to 12kgs) got me! So I knew now was the time to recover.

My LBM is up from last week, so is my weight. And because of that I'm definitely feeling "beefy". I like that. I've been eating more calories daily, but my "cheat day" is starting to get out of control. I mean I'm starting to let my cheat day get out of control. For the last 2 days I find myself actually already thinking about what (and how much)I'm going eat on Sat.. Usually I don't even think about it until the day comes. So I need to change that , I mean I'm going to change that.

Sat. is my youngest sons 18th birthday, so that mean birthday cake! OK, I'm not even going to think about it any more, no point.

My shoulders are still a little sore but I'll be doing, my favorite these days, double presses this morning.

4/10, 4/11 Food and Exercise

Tuesday AM weight 129.6 (whoa!)
11:30 am weight 128.0, 19% BF = 104.8 LBM
8:00 40 min. walk
9:15 Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee w/cream 70 cal.
11:00 espresso w/cream 70 cal.
prunes / almonds 170 cal.
lg apple 120 cal.
chili pepper soup w/ black beans and chicken 300 cal.
fig yogurt w/sliced almonds 340 cal.
cabbage salad w/pineapple,chinese pork and curry dressing 550 cal.
chocolate sucker 70 cal.

Total 1690

Wednesday AM weight 127.4 (better!)
7:00am 45 min. walk

Menu

coffee w/cream 40 cal.
fig yogurt w/sliced raw almonds 340 cal.
espresso w/cream 60 cal.
jelly beans 100 cal.
small veg soup w/spaghetti squash, black beans and chicken 400 cal.
3/4 c. cottage cheese 180 cal.
small broccoli salad w/tuna and grapes 385 cal.
dried figs/prunes/almonds 200 cal.

Total calories 1705

Monday, Snatch w/36

My schedule gives me the option of training snatches on Monday or Tuesday, depending on what I did over the weekend. And even though I had a heavy 2 hand swing WO on Sat., and 500 swings w/26 on Sunday (20 min.), I felt strong and in a good mood after yoga Monday morning.

9:00am KB snatches

Warm up
40 2 hand swings w/26, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.
40 1 hand swings, 10 L, 10 R, 10 L, 10 R, w/26 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.
20 snatch, neg press, transfer, w/26 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 1 set = 2 min.

Total warm up 10 min.

Work sets

#1 8 L, snatch, neg press, trans. , 8 R, snatch, neg press, w/36, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest

10 sets = 20 min., 80 snatches each side, 160 total w/36

#2 10 L, snatch, neg press, trans., 10 R, snatch, neg press, w/26, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest

#3 10 L,snatch, trans., 10 R, snatch, w/26, 1 min. on 1 min. rest

I alternated sets #2 & #3, 5 x each for and additional 10 sets total = 20 min., and 200 snatches.

Total Work out 50 min.

I'm still having a hard time ending workouts before 50 min., I know ideally to build more muscle I need to keep them short and heavy. I'm eating more though!

Attitude Adjustment

I woke up Monday morning in such a good mood. The weekend was fun, my training is going well and my weight was pretty much exactly where I wanted it to be. I even bought a music CD for the first time in years and have been singing and dancing in the car!

My yoga studio changed the class schedule and doesn't offer a AM Bikram class on Mon., and it's been a while since I have been able to fit a Vinyasa class into my week, so my practice is even weaker than it would normally be. So, of course I didn't want to go. I don't like doing things that I'm not good at. But over the last week I seemed to have gone through an attitude adjustment, and my mood was good, so I decided to just have fun with it! No pressure. No competition.

I had the best class! No, I'm not that good (at vinyasa yoga), I should rephrase that, I'm fine. I stayed for the entire class including the last 10 min. Savansana (dead body pose, rest) to meditate. As I was leaving class in even a better mood, I was reminded that we always have a choice to look at the glass as half full or half empty.

I've been preoccupied for the last couple of years with this whole transformation process, and finally feel as if I can put that on "auto pilot". I'm moving forward and it's all good! I don't know if this is part of "mid life crisis" (I don't feel like it's a crisis!) but I'm definitely more open to my lifes possiblities.

Monday AM weight 127.8
6:30 Vinyasa yoga
9:00 KB snatch

Menu

4:30-9:00 coffee w/cream 75 cal.
11:30 oats/milk/almonds 275
12:00 prunes (4) 80 cal.
1:00 lg apple 120 cal.
1:30 pasta salad w/skirt steak and asparagus 550 cal.
4:30 2 large chicken thighs 500 cal.
4:30 chili pepper soup w/ black beans and spaghetti squash 300 cal.

Total calories 1900

I felt hungry all day, I mean really hungry, that's why I ate dinner so early. But 2 large chicken thighs and a huge bowl of soup finally did me in! I considered going for a walk in the evening, but I talked some sense into my obsessive compulsive, over-exercising, self and passed on it.

I know I feel heavy, but not bloated or "fat", just heavy. I'm really trying to feed muscle and muscle weighs more than fat. Remember, (note to self) glass half full!

Sun on Sunday and 500 swings

After yesterday's super ice cream pig out I knew I'd be paying for it again today! I had already made up my mind that I was going to do 500 swings before I left for the beach with my sister for the day.

7:00am

Warm up / 2 mile walk

Worksets

100 transfers w/26lb., 2.5 min. off 1.5 min. rest x 5 sets = 500 swings,

20 min. total

Sunday AM weight 128.0 (not bad considering all the junk food)

Menu

coffee w/cream 80 cal.
oats/cream 185 cal.
fig/prune/almonds 100 cal.
sm. broccoli salad 300 cal.
tuna/mayo 250 cal.
sm. soup w/chicken and squash 250 cal.
chocolate sucker 70 cal.

Total calories 1235

We don't celebrate Easter so I asked my sister to spend the day with me at the beach in Santa Cruz. I wanted to pack a healthy lunch for my sister, but not too healthy, afterall not everyone likes, or is used to, the way I eat! I took dried figs/prunes/almonds and grapes as well as a couple of apples, broccoli salad w/tuna for me and I made a pasta salad especially for her.

Pasta Salad w/ Asparagus, Carrot, Peppers, Marinated Skirt Steak and
Spicy Peanut Dressing

spaghetti (1/2 lb.)
asparagus, 8-10 stalks, snapped in half, cut on diagonal
carrot, julienne
1/2 yellow bell, sliced thin
1/2 red bell, sliced thin
2 green onions, sliced thin on diagonal greens included
cilantro, minced (optional)
store bought spicy peanut salad dressing
marinated skirt steak sliced very thin on diagonal

Boil pasta in salted water adding asparagus 3 min. before, and carrot 1 min. before pasta is done. Drain and rinse with cold water to stop cooking. Add peppers and green onion (cilantro optional) and toss with dressing. You can use any other dressings of your choice, but that what I had in my fridge! If I was making this salad for myself I would add shredded chinese (Napa) cabbage and diced jalapeno.

Marinated Skirt steak

I usually make my own marinades, but I always have Soy Vey's "Veri, Veri, Teriyaki" in my pantry for times I need a shortcut. I know, I know, alot of salt and suger but no one's perfect! I marinated 2 1/2 lbs of skirt steak overnight and broiled it 5-6 min. per side. Of course you can grill it using the same time table.

When broiling, make sure and heat up the broiler pan under the heat first, and then arrange meat in single layer (you should hear the sizzle of the hot broiler pan). After broiling (or grilling) let stand 10 min. before slicing very thin across the grain.

My family loves this meat so much I always cook extra.

Today was a lovely day, I got a little sunburn on the back of my legs and, I bought my first bathing suit in years!

2 hand swings w/24kg

53 lbs!!

7:00am walk 40 min.
8:00am Bikram yoga

Saturday KB 12:00

Warm up

40 2 hand swings w/26 1 min on, 1 min. rest, x 5 sets = 10 min.

Work sets

#1 20 2 hand swings w/36, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest x 5 sets = 5 min.

#2 20 2 hand swings w/44, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest x 5 sets = 5 min.

#3 20 2 hand swings w/53, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest x 5 sets = 5 min. (see video)

Repeat #1, #2, #3 in same order = 15 min.

#2 x 2 sets = 2 min.
#1 x 2 sets = 2 min.
40 2 hand swings w/26 = 1 min.

Total workout 45 min.

I'm still having a hard time ending my workouts before 50 min., but I'm thinking of doing some lighter / longer swing sets tomorrow morning w/26.

Saturday AM weight 126.8

Menu (High calorie day)

so far....
candy
ice cream w/PNB and pistahcios
cookies
roasted fingerling potatos/ brussel sprouts/ shallots/ garlic
???? the days not over yet!

I started a mini binge way too early, just after yoga, at 11:00. I wasn't going to do KB's today, but put it off until tomorrow until Mark suggested that it would be better to just go for it and use all the sugar (energy) I consumed to do a heavy, muscle building workout! So I did. I'll try and eat more nutritious food the remainder of the day, ending early, maybe by 4:00 pm.

Yoga is not an Option.

I've been having a hard time getting to yoga class lately. And my excuse is that it's hard to schedule in the class times at the new studio with my current life's schedule. And I realize that I "can do what I want to" so I have to look at it the way it has to be, which is, that it's not an option not to go.

Yoga plays an important part in helping me to take the time and stretch. But like a lot of women, I'm a multi-tasker and it's hard to calm down and spend 90 min. just doing one thing (not including 30 min. drive time!).

My preference would be to go first thing in the morning, but first thing in the morning is also when I like to KB and that always takes priority. So I have to literally force myself to try evening classes. It's most difficult arranging meals around evening classes, but sometimes things are difficult, it doesn't make them impossible! If it was all easy, everyone would be fit and healthy.

Today will be my last Sat. morning class until Nov., I have a hobby that keeps me busy all spring/summer/fall, so I have to recommit to making my practice regular and consistent.

I can do it and I will do it. It's not an option.

Friday AM weight 127.2 (going up slowly and perfectly!)
9:00am 1 mile walk and 20 min swing with cleint

Menu

5-7am coffee w/cream 40 cal.
10:30 espresso w/ cream 50 cal.
1:00 3 dried figs/1 prune/10 almonds 150 cal.
2:15 oats/milk/sliced almonds 285 cal.
3:30 large broccoli salad w/grapes and low cal dressing 350
3:30 1 can tuna/ 1 tbl. mayo 250 cal.
5:30 large veggie soup (brussel sprouts, celery root, kale, etc.) / pasta and chicken 550 cal.
8:45 chocolate sucker 70 cal.

Total calories 1745

I'm going into my "cheat day" today so I took my calories down yesterday. I was commenting to a co-worker that I still can't believe sometimes the amount of food I get to eat and still lose weight! My salad was huge, but the calories are low, it doesn't get much better than that (for me)!

The weekend is going to be great!

Thursday, More Dbl. Presses

9:00 KB

Warm up

40 2 hand swings 1 mn. on 1 min. off x 5 sets = 10 min.

Work sets

#1 clean, press (military), snatch, neg. press, transfer w/ 26, 1.5 min. on 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 12.5 min.

#2 double clean, dbl. push press, hold (2 sec.) x 10 reps w/26's, 1 min. on 1.5 min. rest x 5 sets = 12.5 min.

I'm still digging the double clean, presses w/26's.

#3 40 2 hand swings w/26, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min.

Normally I would consider 2 hand swings w/26 a "warm up" exercise because it's not that hard. But after reading Mark's post about swings, I decided to use the lighter weight but really "work it". Swinging deep and fast, man it really got me sweating, perfect way to end the workout.

#4 Bottoms up cleans, 10 L, 10 R, 1 min. on 30 sec. rest x 5 sets = 7.5 min.

Total workout 52.5 min.

Thursday AM weight 126.6 (going up slowly, that's the plan!)
9am KB
7pm Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee w/cream 70 cal.
dried figs/prunes 200 cal.
Peanut butter 400 cal. (throughout the day)
grilled salmon (6oz.) 300 cal.
roasted asparagus 200 cal.
veg soup w/ brussel sprouts and celeric, chicken and leftover pasta 500 cal.
fig yogurt 240 cal.
Misc. snacks 200 cal. (sm cookie, piece of choc. etc.)

Total calories 2110

My calories on Thurs day were a little higher than planned, my eating seemed to be all over the map that day. I hate when I start to constantly "snack", I much rather plan "meals". I'm trying to slowly put on some weight and that's going perfectly. Last week my weight was way too low.

As much as my head likes weighing as little as possible, it's time to "grow up", quit being a victim of my emotions, admit for my health that I need to weigh more. My current weight goal is to stay 126.0- 127.8.

Wednesday AM weight 126.2
no exercise

Menu
coffee w/cream 60 cal.
figs/prunes/almonds 400 cal.
espresso w/cream 35 cal.
oats/milk/almonds 285 cal.
lg. broccoli salad w/chicken 550 cal.
veg soup w/pasta 300 cal.
grilled rib eye steak 250 cal.

Total calories 2130

The dried figs/prunes/almonds are adding up the calories fast! Time to back off a little. I'm adding more red meat, and although my calories are higher (on purpose) my food choices are good and nutritious.

Looking forward to the weekend.

Boring Diet Advice

I've been a manicurist for over 20 years, so part of my job is listening (and talking!) while I work! And my list of most boring conversations looks like this;

#1 Labor and childbirth stories, everyone has one! If not their own, their sister or best friend or co-worker, etc.. Everyone always has to "one up".
#2 Weddings, preparation for, and the actual event. Again, everyone has to compare and "one up".
#3 Diet advice, especially from people that need to take it themselves or people that have never had to diet!

So at the risk of boring anyone that doesn't need it or want it, I'm taking yoga off this morning to try and help my friend Royce by making just a few points about getting started. And of course these are just my opinions.

Make a plan. You have to change what you're currently eating (duh!). To what degree is based on what you can handle. Do you have the time to prepare your own food or do you need to purchase all-ready made, better quality food? Whatever type of eating you choose, make sure you have those new foods available. And the longer you have those foods stocked for, the longer you'll stay on the new plan. For instance, look ahead at your week and make sure you have the food you need everyday for at least 5 - 7 days. If you succeed for a week (sometimes just a day) you'll start to feel better and that can motivate you to keep going.

Eat basically the same things everyday. Take the choice out of the equation. You have enough stress just starting a diet, by eating the same foods everyday you won't have the stress of constantly making the right choices. Make them ahead of time. No choice.

This also helps you to start forming food habits. Forming good, healthy food habits was a huge part of my own weight loss success.

Never leave the house without knowing what the hell you will be eating that day! If you leave your front door without knowing what the hell you'll be eating that day, you're screwed! If you are not making your meals before you leave, know where and what exactly you can get (to purchase) that fits inside of your limitations.

An apple a day, and a salad! Apples saved my life (my diet life). I always, always had apples with me in case it took longer to get home (to healthy food). I had them in my car and at work. If you don't like apples, then figure it out, you're a big boy (or girl) what can you replace that suggeston with? No bananas. And please add veggies into you diet. Even if you have to drown a salad in dressing, get a little nutrition, fiber and water in your food. Preferrably a salad with spinach, cabbage, broccoli, or something other than "iceberg lettuce" as the main ingredient.

And that's my boring diet advice. It's just a start. And if you fall off, get right back on the next day, the next moment, just get back on. This is your life. No joke. You can choose to spend it fat, bloated, and waiting for more health problems, or choose to change it. It's your choice.

Off to work all day. Make life good.

16 kg Snatches

Snatch sets w/36

Well, here I go trying to put some muscle and weight on!

7:30am KB Snatch

Warm up w/26

40 2 hand swings, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.
40 transfers, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.
40 one hand swings, 10/10/10/10, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.

Total warm up 12 min.

Work sets

#1 18 snatch transfers w/ 26, 1 min. on 1 min. rest x 2 sets = 4 min.

#2 16 snatch transfers w/ 36, 1 min. on 1.5 min. rest x 10 sets = 25 min.

Repeat #1 x 5 sets = 10 min.

Total workout 50 min..

Snatching the 36 I found myself being pulled forward by the weight, so I had to really concentrate on centering the force, both on the way up and down.

I ended the workout with repeating set #1 because I have a hard time (mentally) training less than 45 min. I know I need to get over it! (video to be posted later today)

Sunday AM weight 126.8
7:30am KB heavy swings

Menu (semi low-calorie day)

coffee w/cream 60 cal.
apple 100 cal.
grapes 60 cal.
prunes, triscuts (6 each) 200 cal.
oats/ milk 185 cal.
small broccoli salad w/peanut dressing and 3 oz. chicken 300 cal.

Total calories 905 (too low)

Monday AM weight 126.0
12 noon 2.5 mile walk
5:15 Bikram yoga

Menu

coffee w/cream, cocoa 130 cal.
oats/ milk/ sliced almonds 280 cal.
dried fruit (4 prunes, 4 figs) 200 cal.
yogurt w/sliced almonds 320 cal.
broccoli salad (w/red cabbage, carrot, red & yellow bell, sprouts, green onions and peanut dressing) 200 cal.
chicken 4oz. 200 cal.
"leftover" soup (veggies, butternut squash, turkey and chicken) 500 cal.
chocolate sucker 70 cal.

Total calories 1900

I wouldn't of had the sucker if I'd of remembered the dried fruit earlier in the day!

Tuesday AM weight 126.2 Bodyfat 19.5% = 101.6 LBM
7:30am KB snatch
7:00pm 40 min. walk

Menu

coffee w/cream 60 cal.
prunes/ figs 200 cal.
pistachios 100 cal.
espresso w/ cream 70 cal.
spaghetti w/pancetta, brussel sprouts, red onion and parmesan 400 cal.
rib eye steak 5 oz. 250 cal. (trying to build some muscle!)
grapes 40 cal.
"leftover" soup 500 cal. ( 6oz. chicken and turkey)

Total calories 1620

Glad the weekend is over! Finally got a (bad ass) rental vehicle, I'm back on the road (different path), life is good once again.

Letting Go

I seem to be in a perpetual state of overthinking lately. What does this mean, what does that mean, what does it all mean, does it mean anything? And since maintaining my weight and recent transformation of my body / life have been one of my #1 concerns I can't help but try and "figure it out", so I can stop worrying that it will go away or I will lose it. (Or gain it, weight, however you look at it)

Many times extra fat on the body is compared to a "wall" that surrounds us to protect us from being close, getting hurt, being exposed, etc.. Now that my wall (of weight) is gone I can see some of the other "walls" in my life that still stand. And, until now, I haven't wanted to deal with anything else. But now I feel that I might be ready to be free, free from the fear. The fear of gaining the weight back is the same fear that weighs me down in other parts of my life.

As I've said before, I never take for granted that I'm "cured", or "healed", however one wants to look at it. I still consider myself a "fat girl". And I don't think that's a bad thing. It keeps me grounded, compassionate for others and gives me a deeper understanding of what's important in my life. Those are things I never want to lose, but I do feel a sense of healing taking place.

And because of that I'm finding it easier to relax, easier to breathe, easier to let go. Letting go of the judgements I've placed on myself. Judgements like, I'm not worth it, I don't deserve it, I'm not good enough. Letting go of all the things, both mental and physical, that have been weighing me down. I've cleaned up my house, now it's time to clean the closets.

And I'm not worried. I'm strong, and I am worth it, and I do deserve it, and I am good enough.

It's time for the next chapter in the book of my life. My good life.

20 Kg transfers and swings

Sunday 7:30am KB swing combos w/36 and 44

Warm up

40 2 hand swings w/26, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest x 5 sets = 10 min. total

Work Sets

#1 40 2 hand swings w/36 1 min. on, 1 min. rest

#2 40 transfers w/36, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest

#3 one hand swings w/36, 10 L, 10 R, 10 L, 10 R, 1 min. on, 1 min. rest

#4 40 2 hand swings w/44, 1 min. on 1 min. rest

#5 20 transfers w/44, 30 sec. on 30 sec. rest

#6 Combination of all 5 sets from above, video shows most of this set,
10 transfers w/44, 10 2 hand swings w/44, one hand swings w/36, 10 L, 10 R, 10 transfers w/36, 10 2 hand swings w/36, 1.5 min. on 1.5 min. rest

All 6 sets took 12 min. to complete each rotation. I did 3 rotations x 12 min. = 36 min. total.

2 sets of bottoms up cleans 15 L/15 R, 15 L/15 R, 3 min. on 1 min. rest = 7 min.

Total workout 53 min.

Talk about Pizza Power! Yeah! I got a head start on burning those calories from yesterday. Great Workout, great weekend, Life is good.

Pizza Night at the Reifkinds

I've been jonesing for a pizza since my accident on Monday. So when I planned out my weekend training, I decided to take my cheat day on Sat. and getting up early to swing heavy Sunday morning.

Looking at the choices for pizza toppings, nothing seemed appealing to me, none of the choices had enough fresh ingredients. So I decided to make my own! (toppings). Now, I know I've reached a new level! I ordered a large cheese pizza and then after it came I added my own toppings. Here's what I did with veggies and leftover chicken I had in the fridge;

quickly stirfried veggies in hot, hot pan, w/ 1 tbl. olive oil, only 7-8 min., to keep some crispness and bright color in the veggies;

1 small red onion, sliced
1 yellow bell, thinly sliced
1 red bell, thinly sliced
6 stalks of asparagus, snapped in half and top half cut in diagnol 1/4 inch slices
about 6oz. grilled chicken thigh meat, diced (leftover from the week)
seansoned with/red pepper flakes, S & P

I layered thinly sliced tomato and pineapple over the top of the cheese pizza, and then poured all of the hot, cooked veggies over that and added additional parmesean cheese to the top. I put it in the oven for about 10 min.

Perfect! Tons of fresh veggies and my pizza fix!

Saturday AM weight 124.6
8:45 Bikram yoga

Menu (high calorie day)

coffee w/cream
prunes/PNB (7:30am)
oats/milk (1:30)
pizza (maybe 1/2?)
cinna sticks (Dominos)
ice cream (lots)

Total calories, probably 3800-4000! I really ate up, but I was finished around 4:00pm.

I'll be swinging this morning, working with all of those calories from yesterday! I feel good and strong and hope to post some video later this morning. My AM weight on Sun. is 126.8, perfect!

Friday AM weight 125.0
1 mile walk and 20 min swings w/client

Menu

coffee/cream 60 cal.
prunes/PNB 220 cal.
coffee w/cream 70 cal.
oats/milk/almonds 275 cal.
grilled salmon, 6oz. 300 cal.
grilled asparagus 100 cal
coleslaw (cabbage, red and green, carrot, celery) w/lemon dill dressing 100 cal.
"leftover" soup 520 cal. (pasta 200cal., chicken 200 cal., squash 120 cal., spinach)

Total calories 1715

I add some chicken stock to whatever combination of "leftovers" are in the fridge to make a big bowl of soup. Why is it that when you're dieting you can throw all kinds of crap together and it tastes good?