Tuesday, January 2, 2007

Hope for the New Year

So much has happened to me in the last few weeks, in the last few days, I can only wonder what this next year holds for me.

Two years ago today I was happy. My life was good. Yes, I was fat, but I never defined myself by my weight. I always felt that I was smart, talented, and had a good life. I enjoyed eating alot of food and took responsibility for the results of that. In fact besides being phyisically uncomfortable at times I felt the biggest drawback of being so heavy was the judgement of other people about my weight. I felt invisible. Not respected. And I did feel shame about my weight.

Being Mark Reifkind's wife, many times I wanted to hide. Married to a personal tainer and being so over weight I remember asking Mark when he would want to introduce me to a client or friend " Did you tell them I'm fat? You need to tell them I'm fat, because I don't want them to be surprised." I felt bad for him because I didn't want my weight to be a reflection of him. After all should the worlds best personal trainer have such a fat wife?

I knew I had it in me to lose the weight and start exercising, I just didn't want to. Why? I don't even know the answer now. I think everyone knows how to lose weight. The question is why don't you want to? I, personally, don't think it matters why. You and I have the rest of our lives to try and figure that out, if we want to. It doesn't change the fact that 2+2=4. In otherwords, the fact is if you count your calories and start some sort of exercise, you will lose weight. You don't need me to tell you that.

What I want to offer is hope. Hope that you can recover from being overweight. Hope that you can recover from being out of shape. Hope that you can recover from being ashamed. Hope so that you can feel healthy, strong and proud. And that you can come through it looking and feeling better than you ever have before.

That's what kettlebell training has done for me. I tell everyone that my diet (food) changed the size of my body, but kettlebell training changed the composition of my body. And I wouldn't of believed it until I experienced it. Kettlebell training has given me hope. Hope that I can keep the weight off and feel and look great. Sometimes I think if I only would of known about KBs 10 years ago I might never have gained so much weight.

I hope that you find the motivation this year, if I can give you any I will. If you have already found your motivation, like me, I hope you keep it going strong.

8 comments:

Catherine Imes said...

Hi Tracy,

Enjoyed this posting. Keep up the good blogging. You are an inspiration for those of us still battling the bulge.

CI

Tracy said...

Cate, coming from such an accomplished athlete as you I'm honored.

I'm still a baby in this world of blogging, and in the world of KB, thanks for your insight and guidence on Steve Cotters blog.

Much respect, Tracy

Jen said...

Tracy, great post. I mentioned this last time I commented, but it all comes down to "how bad do you want it".

In my case, I didn't want it quite badly enough until my life coach put a huge ante in front of me (and I'm never one to back down from a good challenge). I've paid for an expensive vacation in March, and unless I lose 20 pounds before then, I don't get to go (even though I'm paid up). He told me I knew how to do this, and since I did, not going on the trip would not be an issue. Unfortunately, this made so much sense I had no choice but agree to it. I had a great friend agree to support me in it -- she is going on the same trip with me and has made the same ante.

I'm now enjoying the process. I've been pleasantly surprised at how supportive everyone around me is, and how easy it is to tell people what I'm doing. I watched two co-workers eat pizza tonight; I knew what was on the menu, so ate ahead of time.

-Jen

Tracy said...

Jen, there's nothing like a good challenge!

What are your long term goals? Is 20 pounds all you need to lose? You know the challenge doesn't end with the vacation.

When I took the weight loss challenge with my friends 2 years ago it was for a 3 month period of time. I already knew on that 1st day that for me it would be much longer. If I could diet for 1 day, I could diet for a week. If I could diet for a week, I could diet for 2. If I could diet for 2 weeks I could go as long as it took. And I could, and I did.

I personally didn't share what I was doing with my friends or co-workers not involved with the "bet". I didn't need anyone's "two cents" or subconscience sabotage.

Great job thinking ahead about your food. Plan, plan, plan. Let me know how things are going. I'm excited for you, YOU CAN DO IT!

Tracy

Jen said...

Tracy,

Thanks for the thoughtful reply. My real end goal is bodyfat ~20%, but even with my Tanita scale that is tough to measure. So, based upon what I know about my body, 20 pounds SHOULD be close to what I need to lose if I don't lose any lean body mass. The plan is to get to the 20 and then re-evaluate from there. As I get in to it, I think it may be another 10 pounds, but I will cross that bridge when I come to it.

You are absolutely right that it doesn't end once the goal is met. It will be a lifelong project for me to keep up the strength and keep down the weight.

But, for today I'm wearing a skirt I haven't fit in to in three years and I just figured out how to fly a KB with me from Seattle to Texas for a long weekend. :-)


-Jen

SR said...

Dear Tracy,
Everybody who reads your inspirational story can't help but fall a little in love with you. Mark is a lucky guy.

Mark Reifkind said...

don't I know it!

Tracy said...

sr, Wow! Me? Thanks