Friday, March 14, 2008

Brave, or Proud

Mark mentioned to me the other day that someone had commented on "how brave" I was to make so public pictures I took when I was fat.

I have never thought about needing bravery to show an example of how far I've come, what I've accomplished, and how proud I am to be able look back at it all. Wow! How lucky am I?

I have never, for one second been ashamed. I have never, for one second, been afraid of what anyone else thinks of me, about how fat I used to be, I don't care. I know who I am. I know where I've been, but more importantly I know where I'm at right now and the direction my life is now going.




The destination is not important, the journey is. And being fat was part of my journey. It was only a place I visited. But what I saw there and what I learned made my life better, and isn't that something to be proud of?

22 comments:

Diana said...

I've grown up in a family of "heavy"(the nicer term for fat!) family and I've known deep down that it is only an outer shell. Deep inside we are all the same, just different things going on in each of our lives-our choices. Some good choices, obviously, some bad choices, but still all the same. Your words are undiscribable. You hit in on the head EVERY time. What a strong, inspirational, and gorgeous woman you are. No one just gets these thoughts when we turn "skinny", so you are prime example of how we tend to judge people the wrong way!
I can't begin to tell you how many people at work now give me the "time of day" now that I've become "smaller"! That's why they are co-workers, and only co-workers. I have all the support I need from my friends and family!
Feels good to feel good!
Enjoy life, continue to be proud of what you do!

jenn.bermudez said...

You should be proud!!! You've accomplished so much! I know the Tracy before and the Tracy after and I love(d) them both!!! (Remember, even my hubby wanted you "before"!)

Happiness Within said...

Tracy,

What a beautiful contrast of photographs. You should be proud that you were "brave" enough to begin the process of losing weight, getting healthy and sharing your life for the world to see.

Tamikka

Amy said...

The journey that so many of us are on is more than about being "skinny." It is about growth and discovery - finding out who we are. I try to appreciate the person I was so that I can love the person I am. I too am proud of how much I've done to make my life better.

Changing the subject to one of your earlier posts about organic food - Have you read the book Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver? It will make you so glad you have made the change to organic. Kingsolver chronicles a year in her life when her family moved from Arizona to Kentucky and only ate what they grew/raised or bought locally. Powerful and full of recipes! And there is a website. www.animalvegetablemiracle.com.

Enjoy!

Thanks for the thought-provoking posts. I'm addicted to your blog!

chriskauf said...

You are very inspiring to me, I am just starting on my journey back to health and it is great to see you results.

Gabi, "a Vaslady" said...

Can't be put better. Whatever you are, you are.
After losing the first 30kg, I never said a word about it to new acquaintances and I wanted everybody else to forget I had ever been fat because I myself didn't want to be remembered. I was ashamed, mainly to have let myself go (=get that fat) in the first place. Maybe because 'the fight' was still too close, memories still fresh.
It took me several years to understand that this, just like everything I do or miss, all my decisions, whether good or bad, are "part of the journey", it is their sum that has formed me to the person I am now (and I like that person). So I've come to the conclusion that, even if I could go back in time, I wouldn't change a thing. Because then I wouldn't be the same now.

Tracy said...

Diana,

I agree about getting "the time of day" when you are of a more "normal" size. I noticed it mostly at places like dept. stores and other places were you have to rely on help from a salesperson. Talk about feeling invisible!

It always feels good to feel good!

Tracy said...

Jenn,

And thank God my own husband wanted me "before", LOL

Tracy said...

Tamikka,

Sharing my life for the world to see...wow! Cool!

Tracy said...

Amy,

I too love the person I have become.

Animal, Vegetable, Miracle, is one of my favorite books! It's awesome, and there are some important points that hit home with me that I hope to be sharing on future blogposts.

I had already adopted a "seasonal" and organic food style by the time I had heard of the book, so I knew it would be "right up my alley"!

But....although they know alot about growing food, (obviously more than I may ever know), the food industry, and their daughter, Camille, about nutrition, the recipes do not reflect a certain "sophistication", that I like in my food/meals. IMO.

Tracy said...

chriskauf,

The journey towards health has much more than physical rewards....it's a "trip"!

Tracy said...

Gabi,

One of the questions I got so often that would drive me crazy was, "Don't you wish you would have done it sooner?" How silly is that question?, LOL My answer was always, "If I could've done it sooner, I would have!" (duh!)

And anyway, so what!

I have no regrets, only gratitude!

Takeonestripperpole said...

Wow ... I have really enjoyed these last posts. I must say you are very inspirational. Looking forward to spending some time reviewing your blog. One of these days I hope to be able to change my thinking to be more in line with the positives rather than the negatives! One day at a time! :)

Jennifer said...

How short-sighted that person was! Your photos inspire more people than you could ever imagine. Seeing photos of you before you made up your mind to be healthy allows us to see that our hope is not in vain. We can identify with you because of those pictures. Giving us that gift is such a selfless act of kindness. Some people do not understand such generosity, but I am so glad that you do.

Tracy said...

Take one,

Repeat after me...

I HAVE changed my thinking to a more positive way! LOL!

Tracy said...

jennifer,

I think we would all like to only show complimentary pictures of ourselves...but I do think of those "before" pics as complimentary to where I am now!

It took me a while just to find any "before" photos, and you'll be seeing them more regulary, because I too think it's important to see what the human body is capable of...what we are all capable of!

Takeonestripperpole said...

I HAVE changed my thinking to a more positive way!

I HAVE changed my thinking to a more positive way!

I HAVE changed my thinking to a more positive way!

Working on it. :)

Gabi, "a Vaslady" said...

Tracy,
I sometimes think it's better not to have done it sooner. Maybe one simply needs a longer inner 'fight' to get in it strong enough to never have to fight that fight again, what do you think?
(Now my grammar's got sort of complicated :D, but I hope you get what I mean.)

fawn said...

Tracy,
I am proud to have a friend who has rediscovered strength, and who has formulated strategies to deal with compulsive overeating. Your fat pictures are like a bad hair day to me... they are you, but on an "off" day.

Tracy said...

Gabi,

I had "done it" (lost weight) plenty of times in my life, it took me however long it took me to get to this place, I can't try and figure anything out, because none of really matters.

What matters and what I accept is that I was busy learning other life lessons, having other life experiences, equally important, until it was time to learn this one.

Tracy said...

Fawn,

But I thought I looked so cute that day...LOL I mean I was wearing my favorite yellow sweatshirt (one of "my colors").....and I loved those blue sweat pants too!

Speaking of hair...I need to e-mail some pictures of you visit.

fawn said...

You do look cute in the yellow sweatshirt... you look HOT in your yellow tank top! Yellow is your color... I get orange!